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Any advice for how to deal with the "where's the daddy" question?

My daughter's "donor" persay, left when I was 3 months pregnant, threatening to take and kill my child if he was ever forced to be a part of the future. He does not even know she is a girl. I wish to keep it this way for my daughter's safety. My daughter is now 2 1/2 and asking why it's only "mommy and me" and "why no daddy". I tell her that our home only has a mommy and a D. Anyone have any better advice because this doesn't seem to be making it much better.

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wb2006

Asked by wb2006 at 8:43 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • Just tell her all families are different, but that you love her very much no matter what.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I agree with Anon. Just tell her all families are different. Some families have only a mommy, some have only a daddy. Some have a mommy and a daddy, some have 2 mommies, and some have 2 daddies. Some even have only grandmas and grandpas, or only aunts and uncles. I would just keep it plain and simple until she's older and then you can tell her that she has a daddy but he is a dickhead and a bad man so that's why he's not around.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 8:51 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I wish I could quote you the name but they have a awsome kids book about different families. That's all she needs to know right now.
    April0040

    Answer by April0040 at 9:08 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Tell her that all families are different. Her family only has her and mommy.And that you love her more than anything.
    kathynej7142007

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 9:26 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I'm just learning how to use this, so I don't know how to reply vs answer. Basically I have told my daughter the stuff you all are mentioning. But each time she is at daycare and a father picks up a child in that classroom, my daughter starts asking again (3 days a wk at least). I know she is too young for the truth, but I'm thinking I apparently haven't found the answer that makes sense to her. Maybe she just asks often because she is 2 1/2 and it's normal to ask the same thing over and over. She is my only child, so I have no real background to work off of. Thanks so much for the answers...........and so quickly! This is an awesome site!
    wb2006

    Answer by wb2006 at 9:30 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • your baby already knows there's no daddy, she just wants to hear your explanation so she knows what to say too! Tell her that mommy wants her the most, that's why. I hope this helps. My sons the same way but hasn't started talking that much yet.
    heathsmom

    Answer by heathsmom at 9:51 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • i dont have this problem yet but i know its coming because i am a single mom to but i do like the telling them that all families are different and some have mommies and daddies and some have just mommies and some have just daddies or something else...
    lmaines22

    Answer by lmaines22 at 2:07 AM on May. 26, 2009

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