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How do you go about the good touch/bad touch talk?

I have a free year old dd and it's recently come out that my very close friend's son(3) has been molested by his father. (He's in jail right now).

My daughter has never been left alone with him, but I'm unsure how to talk to my daughter on what's a good touch and what's a bad touch. She does know that when we're tickling her and she says stop it that we stop, but I don't know any other way to talk to her about it. Any ideas?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • By free I mean three*

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • There are so many kids books that can explain it in a way they can understood. Use the books and then talk about it.


    Answer by momjs at 10:04 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • The most important thing is to be straight forward. If your child can feel that you are uncomfortable then she will be too and may not be as receptive. It's really not a taboo subject and it's not going to get any easier with "THE TALK" later on. Kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for. The best thing you can do is just be honest and up-front with them.

    Answer by leigh5525 at 10:40 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • No one touches your private parts but your Mom, Dad and Doctor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • We talk about the "private square"; no one touches your private square unless your mom or dad are there. Rhymes help reinforce lessons.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:10 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • I believe I signed the form to allow my child to go through this class at school. They do it in K, 1st and 2nd grades. Normally, I am opposed to any programs like that but I thought it would be beneficial for the counselor to explain this in a way that maybe I couldnt and she did a good job. She told them that good touches are hugs and pats and hand shakes. Bad touches are when someone hits you or pushes you. She taught them about personal space and no one has the right to get into your personal space unless you want them to hug you. She also told them they have a right to say no. All of this was the exception to mom and dad. If mom and dad are helping you wash your body or the doctor needs to look, then its okay but MOM and dad must be present. My son had to have an rectal exam by the doctor and before he even started, he told him that NOONE touch him there unless its him and mom must be present. I appreciated that.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:47 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • momofsaee - Oh, I wouldn't have thought to include violence in the bad touch discussion. I think that's a good way to approach it.

    Answer by MotherofIreland at 5:09 PM on May. 26, 2009

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