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Am I too scheduled? Long but need advise........

My DD is 3.5 and I have kept her on a schedule since she was 6 weeks old. She still sleeps at least 2 hours everyday and sleeps good at night. I am a SAHM and always do any appts. around her nap schedule. She is a very well behaved child and if she doesn't get her nap she is very cranky. Well for the last two days I said to heck with it and took her out on the lake and she didn't get a nap. Both days she was a terror and crying and being mean to everyone. Last year my Dh would go to the lake and I would stay home while my DD slept and we would come later and once in a while she would sleep on the boat. Today i made the comment to my MIL that I was going to have to start doing what I did last year and let her sleep before I came to the lake. She said that I couldn't live like that and I wouldn't never be able to do anything if that was the case. I feel like my job is to be sure my DD is happy and rested. Am I wrong?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on May. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • If it works for you and her, go with it, but remember you cant schedule everything LOL, so learn to be flexible. Allow her the chance to adapt also, you don't want her to grow up and get upset if the schedule is off some days. Being flexible is part of our life and world so help her transition. Being scheduled to much can be a problem because you never really enjoy anything, you end up looking at the clock.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:59 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • No, I don't think you are. In our house, sleep is a priority. Would you skip her lunch? Of course not!! Sleep is the same, especially for our youngest ones. You can't skip a nap and expect good behavior, just like you can't skip lunch. Sleep is as basic as food.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 10:16 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think it's give and take. 3.5 they still need naps, but you should be able to have a little flexability of when and where. being too strict with the schedule ends up making your child live by it and you can't change w/o making them upset because of the change. it's quite possible your daughter is cranky becuase of the change, not becasue she is tired. My daughter just turned 2 and she gets really cranky if she doesn't have a long enough nap, but she does well whether the nap is at 11 am or 4 pm. Can you shift the schedule so she still gets a nap but you can get out int he afternoon?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • And this is what I don't like about schedules...they cut down on your flexibility.

    You might start easing her out of it, because there will come a time when she isn't able to take those naps.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:28 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think a life that is TO structured can be boring but it will let you know what is coming next. The only thing with my DD that is scheduled is making the last nap end at 7 p.m. and bed time at 8. The rest of the day is play it by ear. Sometimes we take 1 long nap other days we get 2 to 3 naps. Be flexible with your schedule.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:31 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • In my opinion you are doing what is best for your child, you know her best and know what she can and can not handle. Other people can offer their opinions but when it comes down to it you know your daughter best and if the schedule does not bother you or your daughter why change it to suit other people?
    ERV2009

    Answer by ERV2009 at 10:49 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Schedules are good but you also need flexibility in them to do things as a family. If she is always sleeping, then she will miss out on fun family activities. I had my son on a schedule but I also played it by ear. He had meals, snacks, playtime, naps but I also skipped naps if he was having fun or we had family activites. Family time is also important. It may have also helped that my son stopped napping at 2 and was not much of a napper anyway.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:11 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Kids can be flexible, but if they are not used to it, there will be an adjustment. My daughter would nap just about anywhere.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:42 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • I personally don't like schedules but my son does! He put himself on a schedule and if he doesn't get his morning nap (he doesn't do an afternoon nap) he is in a horrible mood all afternoon. If a child needs the sleep i see nothing wrong with having a set time to do it, you have to do what works for you and your child.
    Cynthje

    Answer by Cynthje at 11:24 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • I think the quality of the time you spend with your daughter is very important. If she does better on a schedule, then stick with it. Kids can learn flexibility when they are a little older and can be reasoned with more. I taught first grade for 6 years, and those even those kiddos needed a schedule to be at their best! :) This schedule/nap time is short (relatively speaking), and soon enough, you won't be so tied down. You know what is best. Listen to your instinct, Mama! :)

    aim1105

    Answer by aim1105 at 10:27 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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