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At what age should a child stop sleeping with his mother?

I am just wondering....My sister in law has a 4 year old son that still sleeps wither her. He was amazed that my 7 month old was being moved out of mine and my husband's room (where she slept in a pack and play after she out grew her bass) into her own room where we have her toys and her crib.

I'm in no way against's just not right for me and my husband. I'm just wondering what other moms out there have to say about "at what age does it become inappropriate?" We do, however, allow our daughter to sleep in the bed in the mornings. She wakes up around 530 for a bottle...about the time my husband gets up for work and he puts her in the bed with me.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (11)
  • I think that it is inappropriate when the parents feel that it is to much. But I think that the older they are the harder it will be. My LO has been in her own room since she was 2 weeks old.

    Answer by coala at 10:34 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I am an advocate for co-sleeping. But there comes a point when it is no longer necessary. My doctor said that babies form habits between 15 and 18 months. I agree, so we stopped co-sleeping at about a year and quit nursing about 15 months.
    With my oldest we co-slept until about age two and a half and then tried to get him into his own bed for another year and a half.
    We followed the other schedule with the others and it was soooo much easier.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 10:58 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I don't believe that children should sleep in the bed with their parents. It's a horrible habit and in a lot of ways a safety hazard. Sorry to tell you but I think that 4yr old will be sleeping in his parents bed for a long time. I had a cousin that sleep in his parents bed until he was 10!! It does nothing but cause insecurities for the child. Children need to sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms, unless they are newborns sleeping in a pack n play or something. That's ridiculous!

    Answer by princessj05 at 10:59 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • im 100% behind them sleeping in their own beds from day one....

    we moved them out of our room at 3-4 months....

    now when i was bfing i slept with them in a recliner btu never in my bed... to be thats my space.. but id say the older they are the harder it will be tog et them to sleep on their own

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 11:13 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I have to agree 2cuteboysrmine, we nipped it in the bud asap. My kids slept on our bed in the bouncy seat (for the vibration) until we could move them to their crib at around 8 weeks.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:17 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think it's kind of like breastfeeding...when you or your child are no longer comfortable with it. I don't think there's a magic age. One child left my bed at 3, another at 6, another still sleeps with me 90% of the time (she's 4). My youngest is 16 months old and not looking to move to another bed any time soon...and we have a baby due in November. We love cosleeping. It works for our family.

    princessj05...I think your post is based on opinion and not fact as there are multiple studies that show otherwise. The rate of SIDS is much lower in countries that commonly practice cosleeping. Cosleeping is also part of attachment parenting which fosters independence. My children are VERY independent (aside from the baby) almost to a fault.

    Answer by MamaJen74 at 11:35 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Well, I never let my kids sleep with my dh and I just because I wanted my own space, but I do allow them to sleep with me if dad is out of town. Its a once in awhile special thing that comforts them. Its not habitual. I do still have an 11 yr old daughter that sleeps in my floor. I would rather she sleep inher own bed, but she feels afraid, so I just let her be. If I were a single parent, I would probably have my kids sleeping with me every night. I think single parenting is different than if its mom and dad. I say, let them do what they want. Its their issue to overcome. Doesnt affect me.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:51 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • Every family should make this decision for themself. based on their own personal beliefs about how to raise their children. My son is 4 next month and I've co-slept with him since he was born. We just moved into a new house and he decided on his own to sleep in his own room and has been there since night 1 with no problems, even though he's had his own bed and his own room for years. He just decided he wanted to sleep in his own bed and I supported whatever choice he made.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 4:06 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • That is a decision for each family to make themselves. Our 4 year old and 2 year old still sleep with us and it works great. When cosleeping is practiced safely and correctly it greatly lowers the risk of SIDS. Sleeping in a recliner is lumped with cosleeping in most statistics and when a baby gets smothered by falling into the crack of a couch or recliner it is dubbed a death by cosleeping which really bugs me. That is NOT a SAFE way to cosleep. We practice attachment parenting and always are getting comments on how INDEPENDENT our kids are. It may just be their personality, but I think a lot of it has to do with our parenting style. Why force them to be independent so young? They will break away as needed. Attachment parenting is all about doing what the child needs and for some that is more closeness then others.

    Answer by aeneva at 6:28 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • mine slept with me until she was about 2 months old after that she was and is not allowed to sleep in my bed. it is a bad habit and could take a very very long time to break because it is so easy to just give in.

    Answer by rose549 at 7:52 PM on May. 26, 2009

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