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What would you think??

My SO has an ex wife whom he was married to for 13 years. She still calls him and texts him and for a while I found several texts from her that were sexually explicit. Let's just say i confronted him about it and they stopped. He never sent texts back, probably cause he can barely program the vcr let alone text someone LOL

Anyway, do you think it's okay/normal for exes to keep in touch with one another even though there are no kids involved. We've had some trust issues the past six years we've been together(mainly his fault more than my insecurities) and we are finally doing well together the past two months. He's really trying it seems to make things work now. He's not hiding in the bathroom or outside on the phone with her, and i'm not acting differently towards him or throwing a fit, so what do you think?? Should i just let it go, or ask him why she has to call him? I don't have a bad feeling here, just curious.


Asked by CinderAmethyst at 10:52 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (30 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Maybe she thinks there's still a chance since he's not married you?
    And maybe they managed to part as friends and the texting is done in a weird joking way?
    I personally would have a problem with it... whether he went outside or not it wouldn't be okay with me but I'm a jealous person too so, I don't know. Atleast he's not trying to hde it from you, but I've found that most of the time the truth is right in front of your nose and that's what throws our senses off.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:12 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think it's annoying and it should stop. If there are no children involved then what's the point? The sexually explicit stuff tells you what is on her mind. if he doesn't nip it in the bud then she thinks she has a chance to win him back. I think he should stop that. It's just disrespectful to you. Keep in mind that if you two are not married then he might think of himself as single and single men have rights to be with other women. Set your boundaries with him and ask him what he wants in your relationship then you tell him what you expect from him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:59 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Check him for allowing it to go on and then let her know personally that you would appreciate it if she would leave your husband alone. There's no need for contact since they don't share any kids.

    Answer by ms.morris at 11:03 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think they are an ex for a reason and if there are no children involved, there is NO reason to still be in contact.

    Answer by MamaJen74 at 11:24 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • It seems like she is the culprit here. He seems like he cares and want you to trust him. If I were you I would talk to her and be like lay off! That might make him mad but how would he feel if a guy was talking to you the way she talks to him. I do think it is healthy for exes to stay in touch. But that's like a once a month kind of in touch. If she speaks to him even once a week that is too much. I mean 13 years is a long time but... i guess it is alright as long as it is appropriate conversation and it doesn't happen too often.

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 11:58 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I'm really trying to not let it bother me. I mean, he is with me. But we had such a rocky relationship, all kinds of drama with kids, exes kids(relatives of hers), and just such an roller coaster. Things have finally calmed down around here past 2mos, and I just don't want to start anything, that isn't really anything.

    After I posted my question I went back to watching the game and he noticed I was upset. Asked me if it was cause "she" called and I said yes. He said, "she had her one chance. You wouldn't take "him"(my ex) back i know and know that I would never take her back either". Usually when i get upset about her, he gets all defensive, but he was so calm and reassuring that i find it easier to believe what he is saying. However, I still told him I don't like her calling him, period.

    We'll see. don't want to rock the boat, but also don't want to be an "idiot" who didn't see in front of her face.
    Thanks all

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 1:22 AM on May. 26, 2009