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For divorced mom's with older children; it's like living with my ex! Advice please?

My son is 21, lives with me, suppose to pay $200 rent a month (when I can get him to pay it - so far he's lived here since Feb and has paid a total of $100, and pitched in $20 for groceries once). He's driving my car (because his is broke down), doesn't help out around the house and he's been hanging out with my ex (his dad) again and his attitude has really gone downhill. Now, I won't interfere with his relationship with his dad, even though I can't recommend the relationship and wish that it didn't exist, but I won't, can't tell him to not be around his dad. Problem is, my son was doing good before he took up with my ex again. Now almost every word out of my son's mouth sounds just like my ex. He's angry at the world, snaps at everyone, acts like he's entitled to everything and like the whole world is out to get him - all the time. I don't think I can take much more. I'm thinking of telling him he has to move out. Help!?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I just read your post...and how I comprehend, my son is 18 and he decided to give up his counseling, stop taking his anti depression meds, and take up pot and fail graduating high school I have had enough. The more I gave, the more he took and then turned around and spoke to me when he wanted too in ways that made my hair stand straight up (and I have very natural curly thick hair, that takes alot of work to get straight). OH MY GOD...and the WHY??? are endless in my heart, but if TJ with his good looks, but devilish tongue is going to treat me like his dad treated me, well I will do like the eagles do to their chicks when they don't want to fly, kick them out of the nest. Believe me it an't easy, his choices are to live with me and my Fiance, go live with his dad, join the Peace Corp, Military, live with friends, and pay his way. He has a part time job, it breaks my heart, but it has to be, and I will Pray non stop.
    csjoy1

    Answer by csjoy1 at 12:40 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • OMG, He would so totally not be in my house. 21? Seriously?? Why isn't he out on his own? Show him some tough love and kick him out! You do not need a 21 year old man in your house, living off you. You need to be enjoying your life woman. GET OUT THERE!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Can you kindly point out what you've said here, that he was doing well and now "something" has changed and his attitude sucks and he's being irresponsible re: rent, etc? Push him to seek the real answer (his dad) and then tell him things must change. Also, is he depressed? Can you help him with a job or whatever is making him a stinker? I'd tell him how much you love him but that he's at an age where he needs to be responsible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on May. 25, 2009