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What to do in Oklahoma

Okay I'm sure many of you are asking yourselves why I'm even posing this question instead of acting. This is probably one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.
I have two nieces who live in another state, 3 and 5. Neither can talk well at all at least not in any plausible way thats understandable aside from "no" "mine" or "cheese". My brother and sister in law blame the oldest lack of speech on a defect, the issue is that its really not. They were never TAUGHT. For about a month the family stayed with my family, they showed up still using bottles and wearing pull ups, had no idea what meal time was, or a bed time. After a month of making their mother responsible for her own children she talked my brother into taking her back up north. Shortly after I got a phone call that the oldest was roaming around a busy street at night in the rain and was picked up by the cops. CPS did nothing aside from suggest parentclass

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Chutterbuggie

Asked by Chutterbuggie at 1:00 AM on May. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • I'm kind of confused... are you in OK, or are they?
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 1:03 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • I'm in Ok....they are not, my husband says I should call and give my input to CPS but given how they have reacted in the past, I may burn a bridge and see no positive result out of it
    Chutterbuggie

    Answer by Chutterbuggie at 1:05 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • Oh....I was hoping they were in OK. That's where I am too and know a little bit about reporting things like that here, but I wouldn't know what to do about reporting it somewhere else. You must feel so helpless! I wonder if they would willingly give up custody of the girls? Do you know if there's a better, more capable family member who could take them in? If not, I'd definitely call CPS and do everything you can to insure that they at least know about the situation. I hope it all works out for the best.
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 1:10 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • I think that she obviously needs some parenting classes but just because she lets them act like babies doesnt mean that it will keep them from talking. YOu don't have to teach a child to talk. The normal progress of development and growing and having them listening to the people around them will cause them to talk. If the oldest, who is 5, is not talking normally, then I would definitely say she has a problem. Sucking a bottle and not being potty trained are not hinderances to speech. If they say she has a problem, then are they doing anything about it? Does she go to therapy? Granted I agree with you that they are probably not doing whats best for these kids and the roaming around in the rain at night sounds like a major issue. Just call the CPS for the county in which they live and file a report. They may not do what you want, but at least you know you tried.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:44 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • Do you want to file for custody?
    Find a social services agency that can provide support to the family.
    I suspect that the developmental delays are related more to a poor diet, than anything else; hopefully it is not too late to reverse this.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:46 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • You're right that speech is generally just picked up from interaction, the problem with that is they don't have interaction. They get pushed off to "find something to do" while mom and dad play videogames going so far as to lock their bedroom door so the kids won't come in. I know that someone showed up to give her speech therapy and her parents refused. She goes to a special education school but according to her teacher she is not getting adequate home help for any of it to stick. I'm not sure if I should file for custody. I have 3 children so I know how hard it can be dealing with it day to day. But at this point anything has got to be better. I've heard of parents using their kids for an income but didn't think I knew anyone who did. Their mother openly admits she won't give them up due to the 1200 SSI she gets a month for the oldest. I will find an agency in the area that can hopefully help and I'll file a report with CPS
    Chutterbuggie

    Answer by Chutterbuggie at 1:32 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Maybe they'll do something and maybe they won't find it significent to do anything, but at least I've tried to do something other than pray my brother will find some back bone.
    Chutterbuggie

    Answer by Chutterbuggie at 1:34 PM on May. 26, 2009

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