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18 AND MY SON HAS DECIDED TO GIVE UP MEDS AND NOT SEE HIS THERIPIST

IT IS DISPPOINTING AND HEARTBREAKING ENOUGH HAVING TO SEE YOUR SON WHO I LOVE SO MUCH GO THROUGH ROUGH TEEN CHANGES. I TRIED TO HANG IN THERE, HOWEVER THE MORE I GAVE IN WAY OF SUPPORT, EMOTIONALLY AND FINANCIALLY HIS CONDUCT AND RESPECT GOT WORST. HIS AGREED TERMS REGARDING SCHOOL AND GRADUATING HAS ALL BEEN SABOTAGED BY HIM. SLEEPING IN VS. ATTENDING SCHOOL HAS ALL CAUGHT UP HE CAN GO TO SUMMER SCHOOL, OR OPT TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS TO GET HIS GDE, OR GO STRAIGHT TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE, BUT HE EXPECTS ME TO CONTINUE TO PAY OF HIS APARTMENT, THAT WE USE TO SHARE, FOOD, CLOTHING, ETC. I'D BE HAPPY TO, HOWEVER, HIS MANNERISM AND LACK OF RESPECT HAS ME OFFERING TOUGH LOVE. OF WHICH HE HATES ME FOR. HE HAS SIX CHOICES, BUT NO LONGER WILL HE HAVE A FREE PASS IN ORDER TO HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS, SMOKE CIRGERETTES, SMOKE POT AND DRINK. A 3.75 AVERAGE TO LESS THAN 200. IT SADDENS ME SO, BUT I REFUSE TO ENABLE HIM. CSJOY

 
csjoy1

Asked by csjoy1 at 1:19 AM on May. 26, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 10 (450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • my mom had to do it to me!!! Cut him off.. let him figure it out for himself and while he may be mad at first, he'll come back in a couple of years and thank you for turning him in to the responsible person he is. Just make sure your name isn't on anything anymore.. talk to the landlord and utility companies if your name is on any of the bills and let him learn for himself.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 7:45 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • hmmm. sounds like you've already enabled him enough. He needed tough love at the age of 12.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:22 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • I am sorry that you have to go through this. He is 18 and you no longer have any obligation to financially support him. I hope that you have cut the apron strings and let him know that he is now on his own, and may only move home if he follows your rules.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:45 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • He is 18 and you are no longer responsible for him. Tell him that if he isn't going to go to school and get decent grades or work then he has to move out and you will NOT be helping him. He is an adult and needs to be treated like one. It may hurt to set him on his own, but as a parent it is our job to do so. We cannot enable our children forever. Helping when they need it is one thing but enabling them is another.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:31 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • There's the door baby. He will realize real quick that it was so much easier with Mom. BUT will also need to realize that he is responsible for his own choices. He'll get a good smack in the face real quick and wake up. Now just how long will it take? I know someone whose daughter is the same way and her mom has worked all these years to protect her and help her...the problem is that its easy for the daughter so she sees no need for improvement and just is in the pit. She is 45 yrs old. You have implanted all the good things you know to do...it is inside of him believe it or not....it will make its way back out again. Have faith in God and put it in his hands. Let go!. I'm hurting for you Mom..but we are behind you.
    Momforhealth

    Answer by Momforhealth at 3:10 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Check with your county social services before you assume he is 18 and you are not financially responsible, my step-brother has been in a world of trouble since he was 15 when he turned 18 my step-mom and dad tried to kick him out and since he was still enrolled in school even though his attendance was less than 1 full day a week they were threatened with being charged with neglect by CPS. In NY if the "child" is 18 but still in school the parent IS responsible. Tough love is usually harder on the parent than the child, but do whatever you legally can and follow through. The key is to give him choices even if he doesn't like them and follow through. Call the school counselor and find out if there is a teen homeless shelter, we have one in our area that I didn't even know was there until I interned at it last year and it had been open for 6 years.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 4:39 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Laugh in his face, and tell him, sorry you fucked up not me, I did my job, you didnt, my job is over, BYE! fail somewhere else. I would do that.
    MammaBella

    Answer by MammaBella at 4:48 PM on May. 26, 2009