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User friends?

Ok so i was friends with this girl in high school, but when i got pregnant and married and drugs and partying weren't my priority anymore we lost touch. Well a few weeks ago i ran into her she was pregnant and recently married so we started hanging out again. Now her and her husband live in an apartment and make and pay pretty much the same as we do so we're on even grounds on the money front. But when we hang out our husbands like to drink beer and smoke cigarettes. Well we ALWAYS payed for the beer and bought our own cigarettes, which they smoked until ours ran out before they ever opened their packs, and then they started COMPLAINING about US smoking all their cigarettes.So we'd buy them a pack here and there cause we are just like that.We dont like feeling like we OWE anyone. Now it seems they only want to hang out when her husband wants to drink (which MY husband pays for) or SHE runs out of cigarrettes so she smokes ours

Answer Question

Asked by collegemom1007 at 12:40 PM on May. 26, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (11)
    This situation is REALLY begining to put a dent in our wallet and PISS me off. So how should i handle this?

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 12:41 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I would stop it at once they are free loaders tell them you can not go out tonight or something like that my neighbor asked me for cig's all the time errr so I told her I only have two left sorry for about five days and she quit asking me its sad when people try and be nice and get taken advantage of


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Stop drinking and smoking with them. Find other things to do, or just buy/bring enough for you for that occation. You and they shouldnt be drinking or smoking that much with kids around.

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 12:47 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Is this really a friend? Um I think you already know the answer. Unless she has some amazing qualities as a human being that you really can't live without...I say lose the freeloaders!

    Answer by salexander at 12:47 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Tell them you two stopped smoking and only buy a certain amount of beer and when it goes it goes, and tell them thats that. My husband is really blunt he will tell someone "get your own" We drink but not smoke and our friends always bring at least 1 case when they come to hang out. Or when we go over there we bring 1 case as well. Maybe it shouldn't be a friendship based on drinking and smoking. Try going out to dinner or something with them instead of staying home some what partying in my opinion. If it's making things worse then cut them off from your lives and find friends that can pay for their own things!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • IMAMOM we only do it on the weekends and the only one with a kid is me, and i usually get a baby sitter . Whereas my friend (who is 8 months pregnant) is the one STILL smoking.

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 12:50 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • And at FIRST things were great. We'd go to walmart together while the men worked, and our husbands are like twins because everything mine does that annoys me hers does to. I swear its uncanny. And its nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff......but its becoming not worth it.

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 12:53 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I have a friend who is the same way, she only wants to hang out when she needs something. She didn't have a drivers license for a while, so she would call me up and say hey are you going anywhere today? and if I was then she would come with me and just say "oh can we stop by so-and-so on the way home so I can get something?" and of course I never minded because its fun to run errands with someone else to chat with. But the thing was I started realizing she was only calling when she needed a ride somewhere. Then she started wanting me to take her places on HER schedule lol. So I had picked her up for lunch the other day and taken her out to Sonic with me. Well on the way home she proceeds to tell me how she is going to take her friend out to dinner that night because her friend is so amazingly awesome of a friend to her that she felt she should take her out and pay for her dinner! My thought was well where was this friend when

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:10 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • you needed all these rides to different places? So at that point I kinda realized she definitely is a user friend lol. So my advice to you would be this. If you enjoy the company of the other friends, continue to hang out with them, but you need to tell them that you are not going to be sharing cigarettes and that you would prefer they bring a case or whatever of beer when they come over. That's what we do, anytime anyone comes over on the weekends they will bring a 6-pack of beer so that we aren't always paying. You have to be prepared for her to kind of back away after she sees you aren't going to continue paying for her smoking and her hubbys drinking though. Because either she truly doesn't see it happening and she will apologize, or she really is using you. Good luck!

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:13 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • AprilDJC
    You know whats funny is when i first met up with her and started talking again, she did THAT too, they didnt have a car for a few months and she called me EVERYDAY needing to go somewhere. ANd of COURSE shes pregnant and i know its tough without a car so i took her where she needed to go, even all the way OUT OF THE STATE! because i felt sorry for her. But would she do the same for me? i really dont know......

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 1:18 PM on May. 26, 2009

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