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Should I say Something?

I've had this friend (Amy) since 6th grade. I move away & Amy comes to visit every month. 2 years go by & I move back. Marie (Amys new best) & me become very close and Amy & me are almost non existant. Shes w a guy that both me & Marie dislike... hes the reason shes withdrawled from us both. I saw her in October. she also didnt come to the baby shower bc she "over slept". Anytime we want to go visit she says "sorry but you're not his friend, so you can't come over" I see that this is wrong but she just doesn't want to hear it right now and that I should just be there when things go sour (y'know, live and learn) but its still going on almost a year later. I wrote her a letter but I never gave it to her. I told myself I would if she came to the hospital to see me & dd, but she never did. She wont give me her or his address.

I feel horrible about loosing her. Should I say something? if so, like what?

Answer Question
 
mommie_b515

Asked by mommie_b515 at 1:15 PM on May. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Doesn't really sound like there's much you can say at this point.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:20 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I had a very close, long-term friend. I got seriously involved with a new guy, and wasn't available to her all the time anymore. She got pissy and wouldn't return emails/cards/letters/phone calls. I just stopped contact with her. I'm not chasing her. A friendship relationship either works or it doesn't. You don't chase it. Well, she recently (after 2 years) sent a couple emails to me. I did respond kindly, but I'm really not interested in starting up again with her...how can I trust that she just won't piss off on me again. How much energy to you put into something that probably won't be there....judging by their personality?
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:21 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I WOUNLDN'T GO AFTER HER EITHER, IF SHE WAS TRUELY YOUR FRIEND, SHE SHOULD BE THERE FOR YOU AND UNDERSTAND. I WOULD LET HER GROW UP AND SHE WAHT SHE DOES.
    HLYNN482

    Answer by HLYNN482 at 1:33 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I WOUNLDN'T GO AFTER HER EITHER, IF SHE WAS TRUELY YOUR FRIEND, SHE SHOULD BE THERE FOR YOU AND UNDERSTAND. I WOULD LET HER GROW UP AND SHE WHAT SHE DOES.
    HLYNN482

    Answer by HLYNN482 at 1:33 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • It sounds like she's in a controlling relationship. In my house, my friends are welcome, so are his, it's not a "mutual friends only" thing.
    Looks like she could meet you somewhere for lunch or something (it's not right to take your friends in to someone else's house but if it's the house they share that's different).
    Something is going on and it sounds like the only you can do is be there for her when she calls to say she's had enough, she's lost her friends, her family and who knows what else. I say he's controlling her and shutting her off from everyone. Usually friends dislike the new bf/gf for a reason. I listen to what my friends say if they give me valid points that I can't explain in a rational way.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:42 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • My BFF since we were 11 discontinued contact with me because of her SO. She is very limited as to who she can talk to, she's timed at the grocery store! If she's gone too long she's "cheating". It could be a very different situation than you think!

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:57 PM on May. 26, 2009

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