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How would you feel if your SO wanted you to be more dominant?

This all came about when we were rummaging through his DVD collection and found the movie Exit to Eden. I've seen it and thought it was kind of funny but he said he has wanted a relationship where the female is dominant toward the male. We have been together now just over a year and he said he wanted to wait before telling me all this. I'm a little taken aback by it all but I love him and am at least willing to listen. Any advice on this one?? I feel like I can't even talk to my friends in real life about this!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on May. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Get a strap-on!

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 2:09 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I mean what is he trying to say does he want you to wear the pants in the relationship?

    If he wants someone like this than you need to find you another man, that is so stupid.

    Don't let him make you feel small....ever. If he don't like the way as you are then he needs find him a butch girlfriend then. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Is he talking about just in the bedroom or over all? If he is talking about over all you two might not be a good match. If he is talking about just in the bedroom then you can "role play" the part easily.

    Oh and anon, I take offense to you generalizing dominant women as "butch".
    MythicMMM

    Answer by MythicMMM at 2:16 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I'm this way and my DH hates it, I try so hard to not be demanding and telling him what to do but I can't help it, if it's not done on my time then it's all wrong and I'm cranky!!! Try telling him what to do and tell him when and where you two are going to go and what you two are going to do. He wants you to be independent, like you don't need him you just choose to have him. My man hates that I'm this way so if you do change and act this way then he might want the old you back. Tell him if he fell in love with you like the way you are now then what is the problem?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • You can still be dominant and be sexy. You don't have to be "butch." If you want to, but are a little shy, try with "light" bondage first..
    Like tie him up and tickle him with a feather. Take baby steps!
    MandyOs

    Answer by MandyOs at 2:21 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • yea. could you be more specific? in the bedroom or over all?
    My DH lets me be more dominant. I'm an aries and was raised by a single mom. And i'm German and Italian too. ...i just sort of am "the boss". But i know when to back off. He lets me make most of the choices and decisions. More often then not, i'm telling him what i have planned or what is going on vs asking him.
    But when he puts his foot down i dont fight it. That's what makes our relationship work. I let him be the man. And he lets me ...be a goddess! lol

    In the bedroom we take turns being more dominant. Sometimes i'm on top and i tell him what to do. Or i tie him up or whatever. it's a rule that he cant touch me. not until i say so.
    And other times i get him to be more dominant. Actually it works well doing it both ways at the same time. I tease him until he cant take it any more and then he "gets angry" and has his way. lol. ...okay sorry. tmi.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:22 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • "I mean what is he trying to say does he want you to wear the pants in the relationship?

    If he wants someone like this than you need to find you another man, that is so stupid.

    Don't let him make you feel small....ever. If he don't like the way as you are then he needs find him a butch girlfriend then. GL"

    1) It isn't necessarily making him feel 'small' if he wants it, is aware of the implications of his wish, and consents to it.
    2) Some men ENJOY being made to feel 'small', as do some women.

    Of course, I'm referring to this more in a D/s or B/D kind of way.

    OP:

    I would just discuss it with him. See exactly what it is that he wants, do some research, take time to think about it, and above all COMMUNICATE with each other and DON'T put down his desire or make him feel guilty or ashamed.
    _Jynxx_

    Answer by _Jynxx_ at 3:10 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • "Get a strap-on!"

    *grins*
    _Jynxx_

    Answer by _Jynxx_ at 3:11 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • If this didn't come after watching the movie, then I'd say he wants you to be less dependent and more independent. That he wants you to make household decisions and plans without needing him to make all of the decisions. But since it did follow after watching the movie, which has a lot about female dominance both in and out of sexual situations, then he may want you to take the lead more in sexual matters. Initiate the intimate times, be a bit more aggressive in choosing positions, push him away when you aren't quite ready to get close.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:14 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Feel free to stop by and join my new group Dominant Wives. We're just getting started but I'm looking for members.
    AmandaI1021

    Answer by AmandaI1021 at 5:57 PM on Aug. 9, 2009

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