Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

AHHHHHHHHHH I am so sick of it but how do i deal with it??????

hubby & i have been married for 3 years. his mom has always been a pain in the ass. we always have to come out of pocket to pay her shit. i am 5 months preggo with our 2nd. she found out the begining of the month that she had to be out of the place by the end of the month. she just decided that she wants to move out of town & get a PODS to put her things into until she find a place. she told him that it is going to cost 300. he was like ok we will pay it. Not even asking me what I think. i am not working at the time bc of the pregnancy so we only have 1 income. im like you need to tell her that she needs to ask your sisters (2) to help with at least 75 bucks a piece. then on top of that she said she needs to get a uhaul to put her clothes and his brothers (26) clothes in. Hell Nal!!!!! Am i over reacting or should we just pay it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on May. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • POSTER~~~~~
    she does not help us when we need it because she does not have the money to. she is on a fixed income and does not work. nor does his brother. they both collect disability. she is always at rent a center renting some shit and then calls him when she can not pay a bill. yeah i know that that is his mother and he just wants to help her but DAMN!! what the hell kind of shit is this? she is grown as hell she can take care of herself. It pisses me off bc he gets pd every other week & dropping her 300 is going to out us in the hole. i told him to have her ask other people & he started like i dont want to help his mom. thats not the case but she needs to try to help herself. my mom lives with us but she works a full time job & helps with our daughter when we need it. so he was like he is going to ask her for the $ & tell her that he will give it back to her in 2 weeks so that will leave us BROKE for 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Since he said he would, then you should. But alert his sisters and brother that the next expenses that the mother needs to be covered will be split 4 ways.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:00 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • that is not right i mean damn it is always us!!! ALWAYS we have our own bills and then have to turn around and pay hers. that is just not right. i dont know if he rotld her that we would but he told me that he was going to. i am so stressed out. i mean damn we can not afford to do it but if we dont then she will be put out and then going to be looking at me like i am the f*cking problem when it really is HER!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Where's she going to be staying? Look at the bright side... she's moving so maybe she won't be around to ask for money as often. Seriously I'd have a cut off limit. And you need to have an agreement that ALL monies above X amount be discussed before loaning or giving it away, even to Mom.
    He likely feels like because your Mom is living with you (I don't know how much she gives you, or how long she's been there or why) that you'd understand him wanting to helping his Mom too. Should be stated that monies should be discussed, simple as that.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:10 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • POSTER~~~
    see thats the thing. my mom does not pay us anything & that is bc HE told her not to & just to save her money. She does give me us money for the house & to help with bills. she has been with us for almost 2 years. she wants to move out, but hubby keeps telling her that she does not have to & to just stay with us. his mom will be staying in his grandmothers house.l not rent or anything. yeah i was thinking that maybe it wil be better just to get her gone, but hell i did not think that it would cost me 300!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • It'll be worth the $300 if the money problems stop.
    As for your Mom, he's not holding her there... if she wants to leave, she's entitled but as far as him not taking money from her... he's nuts. If nothing else, I'd put some in a savings for the kids so I didn't feel like I was taking advantage of someone (If I were your Mom/Friend etc).
    We let my hubby's sis move in with us and told her to save her money so she'd have it when it was time for her to move out... shoot, she didn't save a penny of it. She went and bought her son things, enrolled him in classes and gave the rest of the money to her adult son to eat out, pay for gas and party on. You're lucky your Mom is pushing the money toward the one smart enough to take it (said with a smile).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:22 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • POSTER~~~~
    lisa ann p you are right, she can move if she wants to but i dont think i am ready for her to move. now with a new baby on the way i am going to need more help. so i am so glad that she is here. i do like the fact that she does pull her weight. she does pay some of our bills on line and sometimes i find out after they are paid. but his mom on the other had knowing that she is on a fixed income goes out and buys shit from rent a center every few weeks knowing that she can not afford them, but hell the way she looks at it is that oh well i can call kevin and he will pay it for me. Bull shit. I am so tiard of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Rent a center is such a rip off. He needs to go to his sisters and have them anti-up THIS TIME. He also needs to make sure that his mom isn't hitting everybody up for money. They should be comparing notes. His mom is a user, and they need to deal with her together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • You and pay for it and get her out of your life or tell her that you guys NEED to buy baby stuff and that their is no way that you can pay for it. She has been living off of you for long enough and needs to be an adult and find her own way out. If you cant run to her when you guys need help i wouldn't help her at all anymore.

    Answer by Jessi101088 at 3:52 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I would be calling and getting donations from her other kids too. And have a serious talk with your husband about helpijng his mom, tell him this is the last time, no more. I can see if it is something like her utilities getting cut off or something like that and am occasional loan or whatever to keep something drastic from happening, but rent a center? Thats rediculous. You dont need to rent furniture to survive. You guys need to sit down and help her budget if she is that bad off she cant take care of herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on May. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.