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Am i over reacting?

So im 8 months pregnant and can't work because im high risk pregnancy and i have a heart problem realted to being pregnant. I do my best to keep the house clean and keep up with my 3 year old son. well i had cleaned all the laundry and had a big pile sitting beside me on the couch. I had already cleaned the whole house and was tired.Well half way through the laundry i asked for help. He replied that "its my Job to keep the house clean, and he don't need to help me with anything" this pissed me off beyond belief. He has never said anything like that and he donst help me with cleaning anymore. So i went outside. Before comning back into the house i heard him talking to his mom and he said "he don't feel bad for me because i have the time to clean while hes at work but i spend my time on the computer or watching tv."This hurt me a lot because i spend most of my day picking up. I slept on the couch and i wont speak to him.

 
Jessi101088

Asked by Jessi101088 at 3:44 PM on May. 26, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • WOW this opened my eyes alot!! My husband works 10hours a day and drives 3 hours there and back, I try my hardest to keep the house clean, but i watch 3 kids during the day a 3 year old, 11 moth old, and 5 month old. I am also 8 1/2 months preggo!! I do alot, and still feel underapreciated.. BUT YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!! I thought mine was bad, you need to be resting as much as possible, not only is trying to get lunch ready for a 3 year old and your self, you have to try and keep the house picked up, somedays you NEED a little extra help!! Have your OBG rigth you a prescription for bed rest in the evenings!!! Explain to your OB whats going on and yoru worried about your baby and yourself. SOmetimes husbands dont understand how much we actually do until they see it. My husband knows that the kids can get really cranky and i'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, he tries to help on the wkends!!
    hart1505

    Answer by hart1505 at 11:50 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Call me crazy but his a** should have been sleeping on the couch! What are you thinking, your the pregnant one not him and if you let him run you over then hes going to keep acting like that. Im on the computer and I watch tv during the day but right befor my husband gets home I clean up so that he has a nice clean place to come home to. But he knows that my job is taking care of not just the house but taking care of our 2 yr old and there are times that I need mommy time and take a break and if somethings not done when he comes home then he helps me do it. Like yesterday I told my husband that I had two loads of laundry that I needed to do today and then I needed to clean both bathrooms. I had already told him that he had to clean the bath tubs out when he got home today and he just told me yesterday that he will clean everything in both bathrooms cause I had two loads of laundry to do. Thats how it should be in my opinion.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 3:51 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • You need to have a nice long conversation with him. He obviously has no clue on how much work good lucka 3 year old alone is. Never mind everything else that you have to do. I hope he comes around. Good Luck!

    SonjaSC

    Answer by SonjaSC at 3:52 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Oh and one more thing, I would correct that crap about him talking to his mom saying that he doesnt feel sorry for you. I would have taken the phone out of his hand and told her to mind her own buisness and tell him that hes being very direspectful sharing all this with his mommy. Thats crazy lol to me. My husbands mom passed away when he was 16 so I dont know what its like having a mother in law but I know that my husband would not treat me like crap and then tell his mom everything.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 3:54 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Give your O.B. Doc a call explain your situation to him. Then have the Doctor give your husband a call and explain the importance of your situation. When your high-risk and have a heart problem you cant mess around with your health nor the babies health!!! Does he want to lose both of you?Good Luck!!
    susan6xblessed

    Answer by susan6xblessed at 3:54 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • he needs to help you out its not all your work its his house to and you need to take it easy for your health and babys..good luck mommy
    photogrypher

    Answer by photogrypher at 3:56 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Thats see how much he helps you when you end up in the hospital from all the crap you doing and he doesn't help. I am very sure if you keep doing it all yourself that, this will happen and if it does you tell the doctor that you tried to take it easy but your husband was an asshole you told you that it was your job to clean the house and do everthing else when he works, even though you asked him for help. He will feel like shit, the doctor will give him do you want your wife and baby to die speach. then he will get the pic. Im sure you don't want your hubby to go threw that, but if you are high risk and have heart problems because of it you really shouldn't be doing anything. I would just stop doing his shit and tell him that yeah its my job to clean up after myself and my son cuz we are here all day. you on the other hand are not, so therefore your stuff is not my problem.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:58 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • no. its your job to be a mom NOT clean everything! its not too much to ask for a little help. i wish guys knew how exhausting it is to not only be pregnant but also being a sahm
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 3:58 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Thanks everyone also. I wanted to add that im moving to Japan with him for 3 years. I gave up my life to be with him here in va. No friends no family nothing. I gave it all up. Now i will be giving up even thinking about seeing my mom or friends for three years. I also know that he don't understand the importance of me being careful not to go into labor. He thinks that im fine that i can still do stuff. I think that im just going to clean cook and do everything but when he needs something ill tell him that "oh ill get it its my JOB to get it for you" Maybe this will make him feel like shit?
    Jessi101088

    Answer by Jessi101088 at 3:59 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • He is just jealous because if he was home he would be on the computer or watching TV. His mom should have a clue. Get her on your side and you will win this one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on May. 26, 2009