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Does the teacher think I'm nuts? Paternal grandma / school issue

DD's paternal grandma watches her after school. I am grateful, since she takes good care of her, she loves her & well....it's free! Although, my problem is, is that she gets OVERLY involved in my daughters school life. Since she picks her up from school, she gets to read ALL of her school info before me. I feel like she hides stuff from me, like dates for parent/teacher meetings. I found out that SHE attended one, & never told me about it. It's hard for me because i work long hours during the week, & rarely get to pick her up from school.

So, i talked to her teacher next year about this overly involved grandma, & i explained to her that i would like to keep personal contact with the teacher more often then the past years, due to the fact that grandma is a control freak & would pretty much call DD HER own DD if she knew she could get away with it. Anyway, I think the teacher thought i was nuts. Would you?

 
samurai_chica

Asked by samurai_chica at 3:53 PM on May. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 35 (74,081 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • I would not have a problem with this at all, and I'd help you. I've had parents ask me to not give notes to a non-custodial parent, and I did not. I doubt the teacher thinks you are crazy, but address it again in the fall.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 4:08 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I think that it is good the teacher know the situation. I would have direct contact with the teacher if meets and such were needed or there was a problem. Good luck sounds like a rough situation.
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 4:01 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • No I wouldn't think you were nutz. I can imagine a parent having this conversation with me and my eyebrows being scrunched together and that what the? look on my face. It wouldnt be directed at you,but I would think the grandma is crazy. My mom gets my dd everyday after school and comes to all of her stuff (like swim meets and plays) but she would never go to a parent teacher conference and not tell me about it. that is bizarre and i think you did the right thing by talking to the teacher.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:04 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Well, I sure hope she didn't think you were nuts, because you definitely have valid concerns. I'd be furious if someone pulled that crap on me. I understand the why you have grandma keeping her, but I swear I'd be looking around with at least one eye for potential future options. Your MIL needs to respect some boundaries more, and if you and her son can't make her see that, her behavior is only going to get more outrageous.

    Many schools use email and websites to keep in touch with parents now. You aren't that far from me, and we have the technology :O) Ask if she could keep you informed of events, meetings, assignments or things needing signing, etc, via email, to help prevent this sort of thing in the future.

    Good luck!!!
    roachiesmom

    Answer by roachiesmom at 4:09 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • she definitely had that look of "what????".....lol! She just didn't say much. It was like she made the mental note of it, but didn't really want to get involved. That bothered me. I remember my mom making home phone calls to the teachers, i dont think it's like that anymore. DD teacher last year wouldn't give me the time of day. She was like "let me teach your kids, but leave me alone". I just don't like that. So, i will try my darndest (is that a word?) to get in the teachers face if i have too. Hopefully this next one will be a little more attentive if i need her to be. I just don't want to be left out of the loop because of my long woking hours. I love my job SO much, but these things make me hate it.......
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:10 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • thanks for your the words of wisdom! I have tried email with the last teacher, but she must not have checked it becuase i never got return emails. I think she was just a b*tch. We all have to deal with a weird teacher at least once in our child's life, am i wrong?

    hopefully this new teacher will be a little kinder, & i will harass her by email, or phone if neccessary...lol!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:13 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Oh, no...there is always at least one teacher you have run-ins with.

    I do hope the new teacher proves to be more understanding in the long run. But if the school is set up to where parents should be able to use email to keep in touch, and teachers refuse, consider complaining to the principle, or even the district -- they are paying good money (er, your money) to have the system/site set up, and it should be a productive, viable option for parents.
    roachiesmom

    Answer by roachiesmom at 4:34 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I understand what you are saying because my parents were the same way when I was working. They were always the first at my son's school and if there was a problem I was always last to here about it. Just keep in touch with your child's teachers.
    HoneyPot78

    Answer by HoneyPot78 at 7:07 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I don't get why you are bashing the teacher when it is your "family member" who is pulling crap on you. That is what bothers me. WTH, you may be overly sensitive, maybe the teacher didn't quite get what you were saying because you were rambling on......who knows. Grow up and get with grandma!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 AM on May. 27, 2009

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