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I want to like him, but!

My SILs husband can be a nice guy, but he is always saying these awful things about different races. Like one time I was in their car, we were going somewhere and he said, Look! the nigglets are out! I was like, they what? and he said, little black kids are nigglets. I was like Jon, that was not nice! Then we were at his sons birthday party and we were talking about having a party for one of our kids next birthday at places and chucky cheeses come in to the convo and he said, No I wouldn't go there, cuz of all the rednecks! I was like JON, that was a rude thing to say. He just smiled and laughed at me. On top of him saying racist and prejudice shit. He is always bragging about how much money he makes, and stuff they buy and cruises they are going on. He has also gotten very rude with my husband over stupid things that he had no reason to been rude about. The guy acts like the world revolves around him cont.

 
soonmommyof3

Asked by soonmommyof3 at 8:45 PM on May. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (634 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Stop hanging out with them for pleasure visits?
    I flat out told some of the people that I was around who were doing the racist jokes, gay jokes etc that I don't appreciate them saying it in front of me and I will not tollerate anyone saying it where my children could possibly hear it.
    It kinda sounds to me like he does it to get you riled up tho. Those are a couple of new ones for me, especially the first one, but didn't know only rednecks go to Chuck E Cheese. Sounds like my kind of people, hope my dd wants her party there in August :)
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:54 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • cont. and we are just along for the ride. He can be nice, but I don't know how much more I can take of him being so pig headed anymore! I'm afraid one day that I will blow up on him and cause a rift between my SIL and I. Oh and talking to her about it, will not do a thing. She will stand up for him even if hes wrong.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:46 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Sorry this was long, but any suggestions on what I should do?
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:48 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Don't give him the reaction he wants when he is bragging, and continue to frown and tell him it isn't funny or isn't nice when he is a bigot. Do give him attention when he is saying something acceptable. He seems to crave attention, so be sure to direct conversation to him, ask his opinions, compliment his good taste in.. whatever you can find. If he gets enough attention from desirable behavior then he won't need to do shock behavior to get attention.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:51 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • I didn't really think of it that way. If thats the case. he is really childish! I'll do my best.

    Don't give him the reaction he wants when he is bragging, and continue to frown and tell him it isn't funny or isn't nice when he is a bigot. Do give him attention when he is saying something acceptable. He seems to crave attention, so be sure to direct conversation to him, ask his opinions, compliment his good taste in.. whatever you can find. If he gets enough attention from desirable behavior then he won't need to do shock behavior to get attention.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:53 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • oh believe me we don't hang out with them. We only go around them for special occasions like holidays, birthdays etc. and I hope your daughter has a great time at chucky cheese. I have a daughters whos b-day is in August as well as mine!

    Stop hanging out with them for pleasure visits?
    I flat out told some of the people that I was around who were doing the racist jokes, gay jokes etc that I don't appreciate them saying it in front of me and I will not tollerate anyone saying it where my children could possibly hear it.
    It kinda sounds to me like he does it to get you riled up tho. Those are a couple of new ones for me, especially the first one, but didn't know only rednecks go to Chuck E Cheese. Sounds like my kind of people, hope my dd wants her party there in August
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:56 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Well, you don't have to like him -he's not your husband after all.

    You just have to be civil with him during family gatherings.
    mogencreative

    Answer by mogencreative at 9:24 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • true, just wish he would show the same damn respect!

    Well, you don't have to like him -he's not your husband after all.

    You just have to be civil with him during family gatherings
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 9:39 PM on May. 26, 2009