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How can I get my 9 yr old to listen to me without talking back and being a smartass?

I ask my son to do his work he doesnt want to ..or he has a smart remark that why dont i do any work ..Or if my husband asks me to help hi outside he doesnt want to he says what r u going to do?

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Asked by crish555 at 1:11 AM on May. 27, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (15)
  • i'd give him a good slap in the mouth and tell him because i told him to do it. just cuz he's 9 don't mean you're not the parent and can't punish him. he wants to act like he's 3 then treat him like one.

    Answer by armywife43 at 1:22 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • armywife. ...that's exactly the kind of advice my mom would give lol.

    I would explain to him that every time he gives you attitude he will lose something that you have bought for him. In the state of california all a child has to have in their room is a mattress on the floor and 2 outfits of clohtes. ...that's it. Remind him that anything more then that is a luxory and then pull through. The next time he doesnt do as he is told or gives you an attitude tell him to follow you. And then walk into his room, take something that legally belongs to you and is a luxory for him and explain that his behavior will get things taken away. ...Anything that you take has to be earned back by better choices. Good luck.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:31 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Duct Tape. I have a pre-teen too. I feel your pain.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 2:23 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • This is just the start. From here on through the teen years, the attitude will come and go. I don't believe in teaching your child that violence is a way to solve problems. Here is how we do it at our house -
    Parent: go do your homework, now
    Brat: nah nuh, nah nuh, boo boo
    Parent: no TV for 2 days
    Brat: goes to to homework, with much whining and complaining
    Be firm, be consistent. Make sure that your child always understands the consequences of being a brat. It may help to have a written document of offenses and punishments.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:47 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I have the same thing, but added she is step daughter so I can only go so far. I try and try, to get her to listen, but it's hard. If you come up with a good way let me know, b/c I need help!

    Answer by twinmommy416 at 8:57 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • In my house we get time outs for first offense with the next being loosing something they both cherish. My son looses his trucks and matchbox cars and my daughter looses her barbies. Next offense they loose 1st offense and gameboys. Only had to go to 2nd offense once. We have everything wrote out so they follow the rules, they tried once and didn't like the concequeses.

    Answer by twinsin1998 at 9:31 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I was watching my 9 yo nephew so my SIL and Bro could go to a funeral. I was giving instructions for him to finish his homework. When I asked I got told "I don't wanna do my HW and you can't make me". My reply was, well "I don't want to bust your ass, but I'm about to". He gave me a smart reply back of "You won't touch me, I'll scream" and I told him "Look here buddy, I'm not going to be disrespected in my house, so here's what's going to occur i'm either going to slap you in your mouth or shove a bar of soap in there, it's your decision".

    He did his HW, but I'm the "MEAN" aunt now. Either way, I don't care because I don't allow disrespect in my home. Bro and SIL do not believe in spanking or punishment, which is bull stuff, so it was a shock to him.

    My kids are only 2 1/2, so I have not had to venture down that road yet; but I'm prepared when that time arrives.

    I'm dead last on the "sitting" list currently. GOOD

    Answer by momtotrips at 9:52 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Have you tried taking some of his favorite stuff away? does he have any handheld electronics like a nintendo ds? does he have xbox or wii? is he into pokemon cards? those are huge things with my kids right now and it really bugs them to get that taken away, they tend to listen real quick if they want to see their stuff anytime soon. IDK works for us, discipline is entirely possible without violence.

    Answer by eaglemama2 at 10:05 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • LOL...I have to laugh because like I always say, if you can't find the humor in something your head may explode,lol.
    My son is 9 and WHOAAAAA has my child become full of lovely comebacks. I thought I was gonna lose my mind over it till I started opening my eyes and realized he's not the only one! Lordy...this is how most 9 year olds act. Don't like it a bit. But I have also realized something else...he's a smartass just like me! Holy Crap! I've created a monster! So, I've started attempting to bite my tongue a bit more(hard to do!) And my favorite line to give my son when he says something smart to me...I look him in the eye and say, "Would you like to repeat that?" has not failed me yet. It gives him an opportunity to rethink his statement and change his mind..and you know he knows what he said at first was wrong,otherwise he would say it AGAIN, to your face. Then,he'll do what I have told him to do.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:12 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I soooo agree with armywife! I would give him a good smack in the mouth!

    Answer by mominbolt at 10:35 AM on May. 27, 2009

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