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if i am supportive of gay relatioships and gay marriage, why do i feel that i can't tell my two young boys that it's not wong? i know that everyone should have the same rights regardless of who they are attracted to sexually...

many people that i love are in gay relationships. i don't think twice about it but i don't like for anyone to be openly gay in front of my boys (10 and 5). most of my family knows this and they respect that but i know they must think that i'm being a hypocrite. i have spoken to my older son about people who are born gay but i did not say whether it was wrong or right (i would not have a problem if my boys were gay). growing up, teens are already so confused and insecure, i fear that when they are older, they may experiment with men even if they aren't gay (men are pigs) and that it will only make things more confusing for them. btw, i'm catholic and i know God created/loves us equally so why would he punish any of his children?

anyway, does this mean i am not as accepting about homosexuality as i think i am? i know i'll get some wicked responses...just trying to understand why i'm feeling this...

 
nairda

Asked by nairda at 3:43 AM on May. 27, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (24)
  • Because deep down in your gut you know with your heart and sole that it's wrong and don't want to expose your kids to it, even though you've managed to rationalize it in you head, the instincting mommy in you wants to protect your kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I knew about gays and lesbians growing up and I never experimented with women. Not because I was taught it was ok or bad to be gay. I was never interested in women. Knowledge won't effect sexuality. I think it is perfect that you never explained it as right or wrong. Being gay, bi, heterosexual, or whatever is neither right or wrong. It is they way people are. Just like being born with light skin or dark skin is just the way we are. Whether you want them to or not, your kids will pick up that you consider gay affection "worse" or not normal. They may be confused by your actions and what you say.
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 3:56 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Because you've most likely been brainwashed to think that there's something wrong with 2 people loving each other. That would be my guess at least.

    aurorabunny

    Answer by aurorabunny at 3:56 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Oh, and I understand your confusion. I don't think you bad for your opinions and decisions. These are the complicated situations we are faced with. Good luck!
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 3:57 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I agree with Anon
    BethTTC

    Answer by BethTTC at 3:58 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • i don't ever say anything negative about being gay for that reason. i don't want them to think that i think it's wrong. the last thing i want is for a son of mine to be gay and fear that i will reject/judge him because of it. i wouldn't want them to to feel bad about being gay. i would want to be there to support them. but i totally understand about them picking up on it even if i don't say anything. after all, i don't have to say a word to them and they pick up on when i'm blue or if their father and i are upset with each other (we don't argue in front of them but they know when we are in disagreement about something).
    nairda

    Answer by nairda at 4:10 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I think either you're not as ok with it as you've convinced yourself you are, or you are surrounded by people who would disagree with you and they've made you feel uncomfortable voicing your opinion. My sons have never been taught it is right or wrong; they've simply been taught it's the way some people are, just like some people are white, or black, or hispanic, or the way some people speak with one kind of accent and some speak with another. I was raised around many gay people, and it never once occurred to me to experiment with a woman; I knew I had no interest in women. IF they experiment, it will be because they think they might be gay or bi, not b/c of anything you say to them now.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:07 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Are you saying that you're uncomfortable around people being "openly gay" in front of you? I think that's pretty normal. I don't particularly like to see two guys kissing (for example) but that doesn't mean I'm against anyone being gay. Actually, when I think about it, I don't really like to watch ANYONE (gay or straight) getting too physical in front of me. Just some things are meant to be done in private. I think that just makes you normal and it also probably means that you have some parts of that human ego telling you "it's wrong" because it's what you've heard. It seems to me that you're a pretty open and loving person and I wouldn't worry about these silly egotistical thoughts.
    jenettyshome

    Answer by jenettyshome at 7:22 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • It would be like telling your boys that them having brown or blue eyes is wrong for some reason. It's a ridiculous thing to state, and if they feel it's wrong on their onw....well thats their decision. But I imagine they will catch on to your apprehensions about it, especially since you don't want anyone "being" gay in front of them.
    So it comes down, you don't mind it as long as no one is too "gay" in front of you. Sort of like, go over there and be gay, but don't get too close.
    Your boys will catch onto this feeling, even subconsciously.
    sahmamax2

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 7:25 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • You can love the sinner, not the sin! And tell your sons the same. I'm not saying gay people are any type of enemy or anything (I'm not a very religious person at all) but the bible does say to "love thy enemy" right? So wouldn't that be a good clue that we are supposed to love everyone and treat everyone the same, regardless of what they choose to do? Tell your children that people are supposed to leave the judging up to those who run the pearly gates, so even though you believe homosexuality is a sin, it's not up to you to dislike them or exclude them from your life for it.
    As for worrying whether or not they'll experiment...I don't think that experimentation in that manner has much to do with religious or familial backround. When I was in HS I knew lots of children that experimented with homosexuality and they came from all kinds of different backrounds.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:17 AM on May. 27, 2009

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