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Help me with my month 4 year old?

I can't take much more of this. She just turned 4 a month ago and every since she turned 4 she thinks it is ok to TALK BACK to me and thinks it is ok to TELL ME WHAT SHE IS GOING TO DO. I told her I don't know who she thinks she is talking too. I have put her in time out, sent her to her room, spanked her, and took things away from her, but she still trys talking back and things. But it isn't just that she has this whinning thing now I can't take anymore. You can't tell her anything cause every single little thing you tell her she cries. You can't even joke with her she gives you this hateful look or she will cry. If it was her at the age of 12 or so I would say it was her about to start her period lol cause that is how bad it is. Help me before I loose my mind what can I do about the whinning, crying and the talking back anf thinking she can tell me what she is going to do?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on May. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I strongly advise you to have a look at these 3 articles -

    Answer by ladysavage at 8:29 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Thank you I will check them out later today when I have more time, but thank you

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I recommend the book SHEPHERDING A CHILD'S HEART by Tedd Tripp. It will be of a great help to you in getting this straightened out rather quickly.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:02 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • My daughter who just turned 5 is exactly the same way...has been for a while...I've tried just about everything and the only thing that seems to work is giving her instead of saying its time to go to bed...i give her a list of things to do to get ready for you have to clean up your toys,brush your teeth and hair and put on your jammies. I let her decide which order to do them in, because the one i want her to do will be the one she doesnt want to do.

     Ive made it a game on especially difficult nights, well race to get things done or go by a stop watch. It seems to keep her mind off of whining and keeps it focused.


    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 10:16 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • It has worked for everything from getting ready for school to going to bed, even dinner (shes a really picky eater) Usually if she having her "moments" @ dinner i let her know what she needs to eat and she eats it in whatever order she wants...sometimes its spagettii with a spoon-interesting but she having fun and doing what shes supposed to and its not a battle.

    Oh and the talking back stuff...geeze the talking back stuff...Weve been through that too and its gotten better here lately. If she would back talk I don't let it get a rise out of me...because thats what she wants-hehe-I'll ignore her and change the subject. I know you want to let her know youre the mom and that youre the boss but with my daughter atleast it was all about the attention.

    I never used spanking, and time outs were just more fuel to her fire and more stress...Taking things away worked a few times but she didnt really seem


    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 10:16 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • to care if I took stuff away from her.

    Hope that helps somewhat and good luck happy

    Sorry its all split up...guess I had more to say then I thought.

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 10:17 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • My daughter just turned 4 last week.

    Time outs work very well for us. We put her in a chair facing the wall or away from the activity of the moment, or she stands in a corner. We even do it in public and we have left a public place she really wanted to go to because of her behavior.

    I think your biggest problem is that you're not consistent. You're trying so many different things and she doesn't have a firm idea of exactly what will happen if she misbehaves. And you also have to be consistent that EVERY TIME it happens they get punished in that same way.

    She definitely needs choices, though. They need to feel like they have some kind of control over their enviornment, even if it's just perceived control. Like the above poster explained about the stuff to do before bed, the child ultimately does not have control, but they think they do.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:06 AM on May. 27, 2009