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What would you do if you found out your 14 y/o son is sexually active?

Would you buy him condoms and hope for the best? ...OR Would you pray for a miracle and ground him for life? Keeping in mind that you've had the sex talk already, he just didn't listen closely enough to all of the really scary stuff like pregnancy and STD's.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 AM on May. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (23)
  • Get him an educated film about STD's and what they do to people. Sometimes you have to be visual with these youngsters. Get a film about teenage pregnancy also, I know DHEC might have this. In the mean time give him some condoms. Even though it may seem like you are condoning this, its better to be safe than sorry.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 8:40 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I agree with diamondmamma 100%.

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:44 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Before or after I kill him? Sometimes our sex talks with our kids are so "birds and bees" instead of, well, down and dirty. I told my son all the basic stuff about sex, but what I really drilled home to him was that unprotected sex nowadays can kill you...HIV/AIDS, STD's that you can't get rid of. And it's constant conversation...all the time...I always find ways to bring it up and reinforce my beliefs (which I'm hoping are becoming his beliefs) and stress the seriousness of the matter. I also told him that if makes me a grandmother before I'm 50 he's a dead man. He actually counted out the time and figured that he's got 12 years! He knows that life can be hard and it'll only be harder if he's a teenaged father or a teen with a disease...there is no room for those kinds of errors in his life.

    Answer by mspooh404 at 8:50 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • okay coming from a person who starting have sex at a young at age.. (trust me i wish i waited!! but glad this is my 1st pregnancy ) but anyways. I can already tell you the STD tapes and Pregnancy stuff will not make a difference. They show those in school but kids still go out and do them not caring. That's just the mind of a 14-16 year old. I know as a parent you have set boundaries, make them tighter so he cant. So he knows what he is doing right now is WRONG and hopefully he will understand. BUT he might not... and he may be mad at you and not wanna be around you.. But if you buy him condoms, to him you will be supporting the decision of him engaging in sexual activities. and whether he uses them or not.. they can break... and i dont think he would be to happy if he contracted Syphilis (which can go neurological and affect your brain! if not treated in time) or something like herpes that isnt curable. and i dont think..

    Answer by Aphrodite108 at 9:01 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • ... he would be to thrilled about how you get tested for things like chlamydia and gonorrhea, those they put a swab up his you know what. or IF he got a girl pregnant.. and you being a mom you know how it is. But i dont know how old you were when you had your first, but i know that becoming pregnant at a young age, is VERY hard. The girls are the ones to carry the baby for the 9 mo (as you know. lol) but at a young age like 14, the emotions involved, the teasing that she will receive because she cant hide it, she may have to leave school, the decisions she would have to make, could lead her to what we hope the best option at that age, adoption but could lead her to the dreaded option that shouldnt be an option is abortion... killing an innocent life. Now I believe if your going to lay down like the birds and the bees, you have already accepted the terms and agreement of the consequences (ie STD, pregnancy) but while our ...

    Answer by Aphrodite108 at 9:07 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • children are still young we need to take control like we have the power to do... they can't say no to a decision you make for them and it be respected by law until the age of 18. So we need to get a hand on these kids because mom, if by some chance he did get the girl pregnant, since he is a minor you are responsible. I dont know the laws of your state because they vary but i know that a few there are some consequences. Sorry I wrote so much. lol. Just trying to help. ( in school for Infectious diseases which include the wonderful STDS) and 13 weeks pregnant :)

    Good Luck Mom!! Im here if ya need anything.

    Answer by Aphrodite108 at 9:11 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • take to get him tested. maybe he'll be embarrassed about it and stop. keep going back. at least you'll be responsible for his health. hopefully he'll get the point.

    Answer by m4m4 at 9:27 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • First of all 14 year olds have sex. We don't like it but it's normal. On average most of our children will have lost thier virginity by 16. That's life.

    It's important to teach children BEFORE they become sexually active about the risks of pregnancy, STDs and the social consequences of sexual behavior. Also though we don't want to think about our children having sex, teaching them that things like oral sex, mutual masterbation, use of sex toys, are honest to god sex acts not just consolation prizes gives them alternatives which are safer by far for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I'm not sure what Aphrodite is talking about. These days, when a teen girl is pregnant, she is celebrated and treated like a princess...just like on TV!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Also while I know you all want him to stop this behavior and agree he should certianly be tested for STDs, humiliating him is only going to make him listen less to his mother and be more secretive about his behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on May. 27, 2009

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