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am I the only one who has trouble with their three year old?

ok I'm currently staying with my MIL because my husband is in the military and is away training . Ever since we've been here my 3 year old is acting horrible. I don't know what to do for discipline?? I think part of it has to do with my MIL interferring. (sp?) Whenever I put my daughter in time out, my MIL will go in and talk to her. My MIL is constantly undermining me and I don't know how to nicely tell her to stop. Any time she gets mad all she does is yell. I'm 28 years old I'm tired of being yelled at by her. I've tried timeouts, sticker charts, grounding her from sweets or tv for the day. None of it is working. I'm at a loss as to what to do now? I don't know what to do about my MIL either? I'm not sure how I should discipline my 3 year old? Am I the only one who has a three year old that acts like this?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on May. 27, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • My son was the same way. I had to live with my mom and dad for a while while my husband was a truck driver. Unfortunately it will take a while for your daughter to get adjusted to her new surroundings. It took my son about 5 or 6 months to get adjusted. Now we live in our own home and he has changed so much. Yes, he still has tantrums and meltdowns but what kid doesn't? He does not act as horrible as he did at my moms though. And it doesn't matter how you tell her, you just have to do it. My mom did the same thing. I put my son in timeout one day and my mom went and got him out. I just looked at her and said, NONONO leave him alone, he is in time out for 2 more minutes. He gets one minute for each year he is. so he is 3 years old he gets 3 minutes. and when he gets out of time out, he gets a talking to. you are the mom, not her, she is the gma. your rules go no matter whose home it is. that is your daughter, your discipline

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 8:55 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • nope mine is a monster.. seems like your doing everything right but if mil is always steping in thats just gonna take u a step back, she needs to let u do your own thing with your own child. i would just have to tell her to please stop interfearing when your trying to disapline her so it will work. also u can try taken a fav toy away and just say when your good u can get this back. but follow threw never back down. also is there someone else u can stay with? if not its hard i know. xo my son is great when its just him and me but add someone else forget it its a hard age no matter what. good luck mama i hope it works out for you. xo

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:58 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • My son is 3 1/2 & a handful. He talks back, refuses to do things, throws fits, argues w/ me constantly & reacts violently when told no. We use time outs & other things but it is a CONSTANT battle. By the time he goes to bed at night I am exhausted. My MIL doesn't live "with" us but she does live up stairs and is constanly interferring especially when we are up at her house.

    Ex The other day my son wanted to go see her so I called & she said ok. This was 11:30am I said I would come back and get him in 1 hr so he could have lunch & a nap. When I go up he is on the phone w/ my SIL (who lives down the street) asking to go to her house. Thankfully she said no so he runs away crying. I go pick him up to take him down and he is fighting w/ me pulling on the door frame so instead of my MIL standing quietly she starts w/ "oh he can stay here" after which he hit me in the face. Then not only did we leave but he had to go in time out

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • continuation of last post..... She has this insane idea that you need to bend over backwards to make your kids happy & that at this age he should only have gentle correction like " oh no honey we can't do things like that" & that you need to avoid them crying at all costs. It makes me want to scream. She still tries to spooon feed him when he's upstairs. He has been feeding himself since he was like 1 yr old. What she fails to realize other than that she is wrong but also that since I have a different approach that she is undermining me and in essence making things worse. She is actually causing him to have to go into time out more because I won't stand for the things that she almost encourages him to do these things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • My 3 yr old started acting up when my husband worked out of town. He had nightmares of daddy getting hurt too. Maybe its the change. You should sit down with your mil and make a discipline plan with her. If you make rules with her she may be more with you on it. It will help your girl if the discipline is more consistent as well.

    Answer by KRISTAL_WILDER at 10:57 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • oh my goodness finally some people that understand what I go through.... My mother in law and father in law both dote on my kids and I am glad that they have a good relationship but the whole disipline thing just keeps getting worse and worse. My three and a half year old is a handful as it is but when they let her get away with everything and I MEAN EVERYTHING that we would never let her get away with at home it's near impossible to try to teach what she can and cannot do. My mother in law thinks she is god's gift to parents and I try to tell them Look if you want the kids to come over you are going to have to share in the responsibility of disiplining them for things they arn't allowed to do at home either. Because it's an uphill hattle evreyday for me. My family lives over 3 hours away so I am here with my husbands family who I love but we have our diffirences and some have been huge and this is just the top of the lists!!!

    Answer by sarah2309 at 11:50 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I always said about both my sons at three - take them away and bring them back when they are four! I don't know who invented the saying "terrible twos, terrific threes" but they have it backwards! With that said, it is going to get worse before it gets better but consistency is the key. You need to have a heart to heart with MIL and work as a team because right now she is playing the two of you against each other. Once she sees that both of you are going to discipline and expect good behaviors you will see an improvement.

    Answer by LCCTracie at 3:45 PM on May. 27, 2009

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