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Anyone else miscarry and a week after have someone tell them to "Get over it!"?

I don't understand some people... It's been six weeks and I'm still hurting! I feel like I have to wear a mask whenever I go out somewhere. Also does anyone know how to answer this questions that's experienced a miscarriage?

If someone was to ask you how your pregnancy is going, I heard your pregnant etc, but you no longer where, what way is there to answer it without sounding snappy?

 
Soon2Be8489

Asked by Soon2Be8489 at 9:44 AM on May. 27, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (60)
  • I lost my first baby at 13 weeks. I know it's hard...almost too much to bear. Like one of the other moms said, let yourself grieve. You will feel, for a while, like there is an ocean behind your eyes..and that you'll never stop crying...but trust me, it will get easier. Allow yourself to be sad, angry, and even desparate. Your family is just going to have to understand.
    After it happened to me, I hated the sight of pregnant women... and every baby I came across was like a knife to my heart. But because I have been there, I can tell you that the baby you lost will always have a special place in your heart. The pain will get easier to bear, but don't worry about forgetting your little one... you won't. (((( HUGS ))))
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 11:39 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • You say no, I was and we lost the baby. Its a hard thing to get past and it will get easier but you will never forget. The harder you grieve now the harder getting pregnant again might be. Have you talked to a grief counselor or a pastor or preacher? If your asked just tell them you lost the baby 6 weeks ago or whatever time frame it is. Its not a snappy answer its the truth.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:48 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I said politely that I lost the baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I agree with anon...goodness, that is so hard, my sincere sympathies to you.

    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 9:50 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks and got used to people asking me how was your pregnancy going. I was so used to saying oh just fine I love being pregnant. Well, after my Miscarriage, people would ask me and I just said, "I had a miscarriage" or "I lost my baby" things like that. and then I would change the subject after hearing the apologies. If someone asked how it happened or what happened or if I was okay, I would just tell them i didn't want to talk about it right then. IF someone told me to Get over it after having my miscarriage, I believe I would have kicked someone's ass. NO KIDDING. I was so angry after my miscarriage. I was drugged after I got to the hospital because I was in so much pain, they gave me Demoral and knocked me out after I found out the baby had passed away. After I had my surgery I did not cry for 5 months. Iwas filled with anger and was very snappy towards people. I withdrew really bad.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 9:50 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I am sorry for your loss. I couldn't fit that in my other post.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 9:50 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • If I was to answer, "I don't want to talk about it", which I have, does that sound snappy? 2wndrfl I hear you on the snappy part, One minute I'm crying, the next minute I'm fine then two seconds later I just want to punch walls and scream and yell at people, I know it sounds B*tchy but my hormones are so out wack latelly!
    Soon2Be8489

    Answer by Soon2Be8489 at 9:55 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • If you say in a snappy tone, I don't want to talk about it, it will sound snappy. But you can say I really would rather not talk about it right now, or I'm not really ready to talk about it, etc. Phrasing can make a big difference. Sorry for your loss.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 10:15 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I know it is hard.I only told a few close friends and family when I became pregnant,and I was only 7 weeks along when I miscarried. i did have some angry moments however and sadness,its part of the greiving process.I told the people I had the miscarriage,and that was hard I think I cried about every time I did, but I felt their love and support and I was honest with them so that has helped a lot.I miscarried January 9th of this year I am in abetter place ,but I haven't forgotten and never will. alicia
    gardeneraholic

    Answer by gardeneraholic at 10:35 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I was told the day i lost my child to get over it it was for the best cause i was only 17. Some people don't understand how it feels until they go through it. You lost your baby it doesn't matter how old that child was it was still a part of your life and you loved it. The person who told me this was my sister and she lost her son back last sept. at 20 weeks. She now understands and realizes the pain. It will take time for you to heal, but just keep in mind you can't bury your feelings and emotions you have to let them come out so you can heal. Try to look into grief counseling it can help a lot. I am very sorry for your loss, as for your other question. Just tell them that the baby has passed away and its a hard subject for you to talk about now.
    mitty18

    Answer by mitty18 at 10:37 AM on May. 27, 2009

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