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what rights does a step mom have can i go to school functions without my husband

i went to the school where i work and after i got off my stepson had a party and his mother did attend she got upset i was there and went to the principal can i go to things like that

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on May. 27, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (31)
  • of course you can go to things like that. she should be thrilled that you want to be involved and be supportive of the child

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:06 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • p.s. you can't take the child off the premises without written permission but you can attend functions

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:06 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • She cant tell you that you cant because its a public place, but I think I would refrain if I knew his bm would be there. Thats his mom and she gets first call on his activities. It just causes too much friction for the child and no child should have to deal with that. I am saying this from the perspective of a child of divorce. My mother hated my stepmother with a passion and though the SM had done nothing wrong to her, she just couldnt let it go. I never wanted them to be in the same room together. Of course its all water under the bridge now, but for me as a child, it was horribe. Dont just show up at his school without knowing if BM is going to be there. Its just courtesy. Her going to the principal wont have any effect on the situation, but I would think that as a SM, you would check the situation out first. Not being ugly at all but just dont overstep your bounds.

    Answer by momofsaee at 11:12 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Wow, she was really pissed? I think that's crazy to be honest. Granted, my daughter does not have a stepmom since her father and I are still married...but I would think that if I ever DID I would appreciate any love and support my kids could get. Anywho, technically you have ever legal right to be there. Especially if the kids and yourself are close. If that is the case, you need to talk to the mom and let her know that you are not trying to hone in on her territory, but that you and her son also happen to care for each other, so you would really enjoy taking part in these sorts of things. I can understand getting defensive, but come on now. You may also consider having your husband talk to the kids away from you and their mom and ask THEM how they feel having both you and "mom" there. If they want you to take part, then you should tell mom to get over it and smile. If they prefer having only her there, graciously step aside.

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 11:14 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Wow, You already have the woman's husband and now you want her kids?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • If she gets a restraining order, she can. She can go to court and get it so you can't attend unless your husband is there.

    Technically, it also depends on the school policy. If the policy is only family members attend the function then technically she could have you asked to leave. (that's an extreme, I know...but could happen)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • I think that the bm should be glad that the woman who his father is married to wants to be a part of his life. Think about it- people marry someone who doesn't want anything to do with their children all the time, so it's great when someone is willing gto work on a relationship with a step child.

    And you don't know the reason that the couple split up in the first place, so you really shouldn't judge this lady.

    Answer by StifflersMom82 at 11:34 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • are you kidding me anon have no idea why they got divorced.....and as soon as she became a step-mom by marrying the child's father - she got every right to parent the child the way they agree. keep going. keep showing the child you love them too. just don't start anything with the bm in front of the child. not showing up is not an option.

    Answer by amommy01 at 11:35 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Sound like things are still bitter for her. I would let my son's step mom come. Maybe she just needs a warning, but that's being nice. I want to know that my son's step mom cares.

    Answer by cutzdahair at 11:35 AM on May. 27, 2009

  • Wow you have her husband crap and now the kids..Anon stick it..
    I am sure she lost her husband for good reasons....and good stepmoms want to be apart of their
    stepchildrens lives..

    For me if the child wants you there, I would go.

    Answer by Dannee at 11:36 AM on May. 27, 2009

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