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Should he be offended? Should I?

I'm having our baby any day now! Woo hoo for that! Anyhow, we cancelled our shower due to several factors that was planned a few months ago. Several people got us baby gifts and brought them to me at their convenience. I thought it was sweet. Last night DH pointed out that everyone that HAD given us something was all MY family. He is feeling embarrassed and hurt because not one of his family members have even asked what we still need. They have always been a little crappy on gift giving, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if they all "forgot". I mentioned that maybe he could call his sister and ask her if their mom had asked her if we needed some things still. He's not upset that they aren't spending money on our child, but its the thought of it. Should he be offended?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on May. 27, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • It is worth learning about the family dynamic and NOT repeating it in your own family. I understand where you are coming from. When you suddenly realize that mommy (or your MIL) plays favorites and you are at the bottom of the list it hurt like hell. Obviously from his previous attempts, calling her on it will do no good. Do your best to understand it and learn from it and move on.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • It is pointless..we can't pick our families and some are just crappy. You can limit your time with them but being offended only sets you up in a victem mentality. Let it go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Maybe his family doesn't have much money and are waiting till they see what you need after everybody else gives you stuff first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • My mother and father in law disowned us when we told them we was pregnant. It really hurt at first but then I just decided that it was a happy time in my life and I wasn't going to let those people drag me down.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • It's hard for me to collect all the details here, but from what you said, it sounds like there is a lack of communication on one side of the family. I don't know if I'd be as upset about gifts as much as I would be if they are not as interested/involved as your side of the family is with this upcoming birth. Does he keep in contact them with them regularly and are you usually more in touch with your side of the family than he is with his? I wish I could say more to help, but for what it is worth, I pray that you have a safe delivery and that everything goes well.
    MichelleJ23

    Answer by MichelleJ23 at 1:44 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • No, don't be offended only because it's a waste of your energy. I know if feels crappy when you think about it but you're just going to have to forget about it for the sake of peace in the family. When my son was born my brother didn't come to see me or even call to check on me/congratulate us. It hurt but I feel like I'm only hurting myself by lingering on it.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:45 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Money is NOT an issue. His family have overlooked me in the past, and he thinks they are doing that now. Its really not about me, so I don't know why they'd be that way. No, they haven't been involved at all during my pregnancy. They don't call to check on us, they don't ask questions. It annoys him that they seem to not care. He keeps in contact with his family all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I think it's appalling that you two seem to be expecting gifts. It doesn't matter who gifts are from or not from, it doesn't even matter if someone gives you a gift for the baby or not. It's nice, yes, but you have no right to expect it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • i don't think they are expecting gifts. Just support from their family. Just a hey, we are thinking about you, a card, a phone call, whatever.
    MoonLover06

    Answer by MoonLover06 at 2:06 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Well for one, we had a shower planned that we cancelled due to illness in his family. Kinda thought they would have already had gifts for OUR CHILD. We weren't "expecting" gifts, its the THOUGHT that they aren't showing any support or care. Jeez.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on May. 27, 2009

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