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Should I let my almost 15 year old daughters boyfriend come on a vacation with us?

He would be staying in the same hotel room with us and I have 2 younger boys ages 11 and 12 that will be there as well. I have reservations about letting him come. I really don't think that it's appropriate. I would love to hear your opinions on this.

 
5smoores

Asked by 5smoores at 1:48 PM on May. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (19)
  • Well you could think of it as a better way to get to know him :) So I dont see a problem but that is up to you of course.
    tjandjenna

    Answer by tjandjenna at 1:52 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I think it would be ok as long as they are not sleeping together alone. What does his parents think? How long has your daughter been seeing this guy? what are his parents like? are they sexually active? these are things that I would use to make my decision. Good luck girl
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • If you don't think it is appropriate then I wouldn't do it the whole reason for a vacation is to relax and have some family time not to worrry about what your dd and her bf are doing the whole time. Tell her when her daughter is 15 she will be thinking the same thing. Go on vacation and make it strictly about family
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I think family time and vacations should be just that...FAMILY time...especially at your daughters age! When she is older and is ENGAGED to someone is when I would permit the fiancee to join us on a family vacation. She'll survive without him for a few days! :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:53 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I wouldn't.
    misselphaba

    Answer by misselphaba at 1:53 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I don't think it is appropriate at that age. Maybe if she was older. JMO
    LadyEb

    Answer by LadyEb at 1:55 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • My parents let my boyfriend come along with us when i was 17 and there were no problems definately nothing sexual or anything like that, but i sorta agree with LoriKeet now that i look back on it i really wished i would have enjoyed my family vacation with my family and not some little punk that would only be in my life for a short period of time. At that age girls will act like a completely differnt person with a boyfriend around It will be better for you and her siblings if he stays behind! let your family bond!
    nursinghannah

    Answer by nursinghannah at 2:02 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • If you really don't think it's appropriate, I say go with your instincts on this one. They are children, not adults. Adults vacation together. Children vacation with their FAMILIES.
    Jodie118

    Answer by Jodie118 at 2:12 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I agree on some level with those who think he should stay, but I also know what she will do the entire vacation. She is going to whine and cry about how you took her from him and how bad she misses him and how much she thinks she loves him blah blah blah.. IMO take him it will keep her quiet and you get to spend time with your family happy not whiny! Just make one of the boys sleep somewhere if they tried anything he would hear or see it and stop it!
    wantherout08

    Answer by wantherout08 at 2:24 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I think this depends so much on your family. Do you tend to take friends along on vacations? If you do, than this friend is no different from any other friend (one of my friend's daughter is a lesbian -- how funny is it that she was always allowed to have girl-girl sleepovers but not boy-girl?)


    I don't think of this as a morally-appropriate issue (because, trust me, everyone is going to have a different take on that) as much as a family-appropriate issue. If your family vacations have always been family-only, this is a cultural shift that may be hard on all of the people in the hotel room, not just you or the bf. Sharing space with strangers for a protracted period of time is hard on lots of people.


    One way to see how you feel about this is: can he spend a week at your house? If the answer is 'no' you may want to wonder why. That may give you a sense of what you think is wrong, or right, about this idea.

    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:24 PM on May. 27, 2009

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