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How do I get my daughter to STOP being such a follower?

My 9 yr old daughter has always had this problem. She is a huge follower & it really concerns me because I want her to have confidence & know who she is as a person. Not to mention, she will be a teen in a few yrs & if she continues this way Im scared of what she might do just to fit in. She is a very beautiful girl & dresses very stylish so Im not sure why she feels the need to be like someone else? She will literally turn into a camillion w/whoever she is hanging around at the moment. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on May. 27, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (4)
  • Get her in something for HER. Gymnastics, tae kwon do........swimming, dancing, something physical. Something that she chooses to do and something you can springboard her sense of self with.
    I have a daughter who is also a follower...........I know it can be frustrating because they seem to fall in with people who make poor choices! I wish I knew what makes one child more confident than another.

    Answer by Foster_Mom at 4:03 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • i have twin 8 yo and i have noticed the same pattern. I tell them that the brain God gave them is for them to make their own decisions with and if he wanted us to follow we wouldnt all need one. It actually works when you really explain this and tell her the reason y she is great just as she is....this is something that will have to b reiterated numerous times throughout childhood and probally early adulthood

    Answer by brookie718 at 11:19 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Some kids are leaders, some are followers.  If you are knowledgeable on a topic or a sport it is much easier to lead others.  If it is that she is lacking self-confidence....that comes within.  Encourage her in the things she is good at.  See here some books for her and you about self-confidence/self-esteem.


    Answer by momjs at 5:26 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I think that's just how some kids are. My oldest son has always been more of a follower and my younger one has more leadership qualities. Sports can help her come out of her shell. And giving her more responsibilities.

    Answer by rose123 at 3:38 PM on May. 31, 2009

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