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What does it take for people to mind their own business?

For personal and health reasons, we decided against having a second child. How do we explain to our daughter, whose three now, why she doesn't have a brother or sister like some of her classmates? I have a particular gossipy woman at my workplace who is even trying to guilt trip a divorced dad (?!) about his daughter being an only child. She has repeatedly tried to push a second child on me, and so many times I couldn't count 'em I have politely stated I am happy with my one child family. She keeps bringing it up anyway, and the last time I was tired and ill from a new prescription iron supplement, so I really couldn't get feisty and tell her off. Why is being soft spoken and polite and sure of your opinions and desires such a liability anymore? Why is minding one's own business such an unusual trait? What should I do if this gossip and busybody, or anyone else, approaches the subject again? This is noone's business.

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mimismom436

Asked by mimismom436 at 6:14 PM on May. 27, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (19)
  • Do you know who Marlo Thomas is? She is married to Phil Donohue..he WAS talk show for years until Oprah knocked him off the charts. Anyway, people used to ask her all the time why didn't she and Phil have any children, only his from a previous marraige. He reply everytime...."I'm sorry but that is none of your business" She said it in the kindest tone and it takes people by surprise. There is no reply that isn't rude. If they get snippy you shine it on.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:18 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Talk to her about the fact that the human population on earth is booming. Ideally we would only reproduce to replace ourselves, or only have one child, because the human population is so large. It's called "zero population growth". Tell her that you're just doing your part to save the planet and be green!

    ps before people jump all over me I don't care if a person has 1 or 18 kids, I think it's a persons choice how many kids they have. I'm just giving mimismom436 something to say which is straight from my environmental science textbook!
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 6:19 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Tell her it's none of her business, just as you stated, and when you tell her that simply walk away. Don't enable her to bring this up, if she does, shoot her down by saying something, then make it a point to walk away from her to give her a clue that you are no longer listening to her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Tell her its none of her business and your not having another baby because you don't want another child. If she wants to repopulate the world then go for it and if not shut up and mind your own business. Sometimes being blunt it what someone needs to learn to shut up and keep their nose where it belongs.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 6:20 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Oh I use to love watching Donohue. I agree tell her with the kindest voice you have that it is none of her business.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 6:23 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I don't think it's necessary to explain your reasons to her, because you shouldn't have to give your reason to someone else that has no significant part in your family life, and won't personally, and directly be affected by your choice.
    Children who don't have siblings aren't lonely. They have friends at school and for the most part, all attention is on them instead of being divided up for the other children. Lonely children come from parents who neglect them, not from parents who chose to have 1 or even 5 children. Besides, siblings usually fight and get tired of each other anyway. Some don't but I'm just saying. I can't stand when people make a big deal out of how many children you have and act like if you don't have more than one, they'll be "so lonely."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • honestly I face it all the time too. At first we were thinking of having another child a few years down the road, but now it isn't going to be possible for us to have another. So it is kind of hard when people approach us with this topic...I just tell them the truth, "I am not able to have another.." then they leave it at that. It would be rude and insensitive for them to go any further at that point I think. However, my MIL thinks there "is always a possibility" she doesn't understand I guess??


    Or you could say something like "I just want to spoil my one and only ROTTEN" ;)

    SecretSuzy

    Answer by SecretSuzy at 6:27 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I have the same problem with relatives. But I am lucky in the sense my sil never got married and never had a child. So finally they backed off. What nerve of that nosy busybody. She needs to stop. What a whack job.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Sometimes you just have to let etiquette go by the wayside and tell people point blank what's on your mind. In the first place, she is not being very courteous to you by forcing her opinions on you like that anyway.

    Also explain to that rude woman that if she'd like to go through the nine months of pregnancy for you and pay for a second child's food, clothes, and college fund you'll consider it. Then walk away.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 6:35 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I would just ignore her. Play deaf. Sounds like she has some issues. People are nosey in nature but that;s pretty extreme.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on May. 27, 2009

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