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Was I wrong for telling him this?

I gave him an ultimatum...

We have been together two years but he comes and goes when he wants. He has been in and out of our lives the whole time, it has even been months during some of these times.

I told him that either he commits to me or he don't. If he doesn't, I told him to never call me again and that we will be done for good.

I am tired of crying over him or because of him and this is the only way that I can make that clear to him. It doesn't mean if he commits that it will work out but it's worth a try.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on May. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • As long as you are okay with the possibility that he will choose ending things then you did the right thing. Honestly it sounds like you would be better off without him and you sound prepared for that outcome. Just stay strong!

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:41 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • IMO you had every right to. I don't think I would have been able to deal with it for as long as you have. He needs to know that you either together or your not... you can't live on his whims. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

    Answer by Lovejoy0303 at 9:43 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • I was in a relationship similiar to yours years ago. I had enough and broke off the relationship. I'm happy I did because I'm now married to a wonderful man.

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 9:43 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Well, I think it is ok to assert your standards to him. Once he gives you his choice though, whatever it may be you will have to respect it and be together or move on.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 9:50 PM on May. 27, 2009

  • Yes, you have the right, just follow through. If you don't he will walk all over you and kind of have the power in the relationship. If he chooses to go, you need to heal, and in time, I promise you will find the right man. By letting go of the chaos, you will find you and see how much time you have to do other things than worry about where he is and what he does. If he stays, you need clear commitments and ground rules to establish trust. I wish it could just be easy!


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:54 PM on May. 27, 2009

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