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ok I need serious help with my sons girlfriend!!!! HELP!! I need advice what to do we are arguing now and some nasty stuff was said we are not talking now, and I feel so bad...

My sons girlfriend had a baby after they dated for 4 years, I always got along with her, feeding her when needed, welcoming her into our home, after the shock of the baby!, we managed to work things out as well as her parents. anyways, the baby is now 3 months since then I have only and my husband and two daughters have only seen him a handful of times, she dosnt answer my calls, she never returns them I try to have them over for dinner, give them gc so we can watch him, see we love him so very much and want him to know us!, the last thing was, we were trying to let our son take out a loan for a car from us to help him get on his feet, they are proud an live in an apartment and work. which I respect deeply, the thing is everything I try to help AT ALL, with ANYTHING from get hm alittle something or call whatever she doesnt want any of my advice! and stays away!! my son is in the middle and doesnt want to argue with her can any

 
susan1958

Asked by susan1958 at 12:24 AM on May. 28, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (4)
  • You can apologize and ask her to forgive you for your part in the argument and the things that you said or did that offended her. You can tell her what kind of relationship you would like to have with her and ask her what her thoughts are. After that, you will probably have to just wait and see. I have two daughters-in-law and one son-in-law, and every one of them is different and I have to relate to them differently. Your situation is different if they are not even married. You are probably wanting to treat her like your daughter-in-law, but that's not really the relationship that you have. A lot, too, depends on how she was raised and how the relationships in her family have been handled. It almost sounds like she is suspicious of you for some reason. Maybe you could try inviting her to lunch, just the two of you, and see if you all can come to some kind of meeting of the minds so that you can see your grandbaby.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:28 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • I have been on both sides of the fence. I would just call her right away and apologize, It may be hard but just suck it up. She will hold it against you and you do not want to give her a reason to keep the baby from you anymore then she already has. Don't give her advice unless she ask's and just let her know that your their if she needs you for anything.Don't even ask why she does't pick up when you call,she knows it makes you mad and you will give her an oppertunity to push your buttons.It's so hard when it's your son's baby and not a daughters because it's like it's her and her side of the family's baby. Be patient and distant and let them come around. They'll miss grandma when she's not there. they wii be wanting a sitter soon lol, and them come asking you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Thank you both for your answers, I did call, got the machine (shocker), and left a message of apology, did email one to also to my son to show him I am makng an honest attempt. yanno I never thought about it like one of you girls said.. she is not my daughterinlaw so from now on Im not going to overdue myself.. and just see the baby when and if I still can.. her mom and her have a diffrent relationship her mom once told me that they dont have to talk every day or even once a week, they still love each other. well umm shes the only girl out of 4 brothers, her mom, and I think thats strange.. my girls and I talk all the time same with my mom, whos with me there?? do you think that she is wanting that from her mom and not getting it and so she is kind of mad about it so she knows it agravates me to keep the baby away, I shouldnt say away, just not available.. more comments please!, so far no phone calls or emails from her..
    susan1958

    Answer by susan1958 at 1:39 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • That's my situation, except I'm the girlfriend. His mom just get's annoying and I don't like the way she takes care of my baby. When we are invited for dinner it's always spaghetti or chicken, that's all they eat. I don't really know what your son's gf's problem is, but that's why I do that. I will admit that, since I'm a young mom I want to prove I know what I'm doing and can do it myself.

    Don't take it like I'm saying YOU are doing those things, that's my situation.

    OwensMama824

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 3:23 PM on May. 28, 2009