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what do you do when your husband has an emotional affair?

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krock107

Asked by krock107 at 12:50 AM on May. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • if u can 4give him 100% stay together and get counseling BUT if u cant then i think u should leave him..
    lhernandez7208

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 12:59 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Ok maybe i was a bit too vague. I have a newborn baby boy and my husband has been keeping a secret myspace account where he talks to two different redheaded girls-a fetish i can only assume. When confronted he says im just crazy and they are just friends. One of these girls has the pet name "owner" for my husband and subsequently refers to herself as his kitty. The other girl went nuts on me by getting my info from mutual "friends" and continuously calling me drunkenly and blogging slander about me. Both of these girls (would like to say women but I dont feel it fits) live in our town. I love my husband and he claims to just have been oblivious to these devious red heads intentions. I want to keep my marraige but fear that these developments mean that I am the concellation prize that my husband regrets. Oh and by the way I have nothing against redheads really its just ironic that these two women happened to be such vixens.
    krock107

    Answer by krock107 at 1:03 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • i totally agree with the anon above.....tell him to send the myspace to hell
    lhernandez7208

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 1:15 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • I am soooo sorry that this has happened to you. How hurtful.

    If you choose to stay in the relationship. And..He is willing to mend the damage....He needs to be OPEN and honest with you...about everything. If he continues to have a myspace account...you need to have access to it and all of the messages. If he has acted inappropriately..then that needs to end.....or the marriage will. He needs to stop all interactions with these women immediately. ...and start to clean up the mess that he has made.

    How ? By being available to you whenever you call. He needs to be where you can reach him and answer all of your messages/calls/texts . He needs to answer willingly and openly ...all of your questions. Basically...he needs to build your trust back .
    This takes time and much effort. If he loves you...and is a man...he will accept responsibility and do what is right for his family.
    good luck!
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 1:20 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • I agree with that completely and to make it worse he plays world of warcraft when hes not on that damn site-laugh it up ladies! I am a succesful and capable woman. I am fully able to take care of my son with or without him by any means necessary. I can forgive him but how do I raise a childish man into the adult husband I THOUGHT I was marrying while trying to raise my beautiful baby boy at the same time? I dont doubt that he loves me. I know for a fact that he was just being twisted by insecure woman who need to flirt their way into self esteem by attempting to catch the eye of a taken man. I read the emails and he fell prey to two teases and their bs. . .but how do I broach this topic with him without creating WWIII?
    krock107

    Answer by krock107 at 1:29 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • First off.. It doesn't sound like an "emotional affair".. Emotional affairs ( hence the word emotional) mean a connection to ONE person .It sounds like he is a disrespectful "dog" and would/will ( or has) cheated on you PHYSICALLY!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • I also had the same issue with my husband.As I was working 7p-7a he was online e-mailing a girl he used to work with.He felt as if he did nothing wrong.And my mother in law stated it was a man thing.Well I was pissed and still have a copy of the e-mails.He gets mad at me but.I feel emotional affairs are sometime worse than a physical affair.I relate it to ...Physical abuse hurts.But it heals for the time being.Emotional abuse you cant see and it stays with you.I truly feel from experience.It is sooo very hard to trust the decietfullness and the lies.How will you know if he opens another account in another name or ect.Good luck.I know I have a very very hard time believing my husband.And it has been 3 yrs ago.
    kassi09

    Answer by kassi09 at 6:53 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • My husband had an emotional affair that lasted for nearly a year. It was with a woman he worked with that knew he was married with children. It hurts more then when they cheat physically...been there too. Although we agreed to stay together it has taken a toll on our relationship and on myself. I have never gotten past it 100%. It has effected our lives in so many ways, he obviously had to switch jobs, and now he drives an hour and a half to work. I think if you can talk to him like civilized adults and if you truly feel you are capable of getting over it then you should work it out. Me I am still struggling and truly wish I would have walked away when I found out....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on May. 28, 2009

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