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Are there any moms out there who have children with ADHD and behavior problems??

My daughter have severe ADHD, the dr thinks she has bipolar. She has yet to be diagnosed. She is in a special program for children with behavior problems and challenges. She is way behind and will have to repeat the 1st grade next year because of all the problems. I have two other children. One in the second grade and the other just turned 4 and is going to go to preschool next year. I have dealt with her the best I know how. I have my family in church and my pastor has gave me some great advice for dealing with her. I feel like I am neglecting my other two children cause I am having to focus so much on her. I try to give all my children the same amount of attention, but it is so difficult when i am having to run to the school, or the theripist office and I am so run down with it. Do not give advice if you do not deal with this, but for any parent who faces these challenges, please advice welcome...

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on May. 28, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (11)
  • You sound like my mom. My sister was bipolar and molested several times as a child. She often felt like she was neglecting her other children (not physically of course). She was also a single mother and had 4 children. Her youngest also was diagnosed with ADHD (misdaignosis. his correct diagnosis is ASD) anyways, try to find individual time. Mom used to take us out to wendy's. Like she'd pick us up from school early because of a Dr's apptment or whatever. She also spent time in the morning cuddeling us individually on weekends.
    Right now i'm struggeling with something similiar. My little brother who i will be adopting (our mom died) has behavioral problems and i spend a lot of time dealing with him. My poor DSS doesnt know what to do. Good luck!

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:04 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • wow, you are in my current situation! difference is, my son's doc won't even consider the possibility even though i am bipolar. i also have adhd. actually i blogged about it recently. i am taking my son for a second opionion once i get him in therapy for a while. i figure some input from a psychotherapist will have more weight than a school. i can't even even imagine having to split my time with other kids too. my hat goes off to you. any time you need to exchange information, vent, cry on a shoulder, etc. i am here for you. it is always easiest if the other person can relate. we are on a constant roller coaster ride. we evven seem to cycle roughly the same time too which makes it extra fun! lol we both came out of a depressive phase. oh yea, meds do not make the symptoms go away completely but they do lessen the frequency and intensity espcially with therapy. dont let anyone tell you which route to go. go with what your gut.

    Answer by Anjo.Solene at 7:41 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • ok couldnt finsih the answer in one post. i dont have to find time for other children but i do have to find time for the rest of my family. desmond is extremely possessive of his mom and a lot of my time is taken up by him. if he doesnt get my undivided attention his mood quickly deteriorates.

    Answer by Anjo.Solene at 7:43 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • I'm in the same boat. I have 1 child that is really out of control. Total I have 5. The other kids are pretty normal so I know it isn't something I have done. I'm back and forth to therapist and doctors for years. Her dx so far is Behavioral Disorder. But I think that is way off. It to me seems more like a personality disorder. She has to create the most trouble so all the attention in the room is on her. She doesn't care if it is bad attention just that everyone is focusing on her. It started in Kindergarten with throwing chairs and hasn't stopped. She is has been suspended so many times. When one of my other kids gets one of her old teachers they are in shock because they behave. They are quiet too so they get ignored a lot. What I try to do is take the other ones out shopping with me. Then the troubled daughter claims I favor them over her. I feel like I can never win!


    Answer by babyfat5 at 9:50 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • BTW if any of the other mom's with this problem wanted to start a group I'd be happy to join!

    Answer by babyfat5 at 9:51 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • If you have not already done this in the diagnosing process, PLEASE ask for this test. RAST test food panel for IgE & IgG. It is done by blood draw to check for food intolerances. An intolerance will not show as a typical allergy. It CAN cause behavioral & learning problems. ADHD is way over diagnosed without ruling out all prosibilities. Any medical professional that tells you that food has nothing to do with behavioral or psychological problems needs to bring his education up to date!

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 11:05 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • if nothing else at least sit down with the other kids and say "mommy loves you. you know this right?" i'm sure it must be difficult for you balancing three kids with one that needs so much attention b/c of medical issues. have your SO take her for a little bit at bedtime and read the other two a book, just the three of you...switch roles with SO, this way they should get the sense that both parents are taking time just for them.

    Answer by m4m4 at 12:31 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • take her to a nerologist for kids- ritalin helped my teen sister- she is an honor roll student, and she had problems following directions and doing work quickly-my mom has to till this day check to make sure she does her homework and cleans out her binder-messy. she has been on honor since middle school, a mom who takes the time to redirect and talks to ur child makes the diffrence, other kids in her class- she only goes for math to special ed.- r not doing as well- it will be alot of work at times, but u can help by keeping a schedule-everyday homwork at the same time- put notes in school work to remind child to bring papers home, etc. just do what u can to help him be more organized. i cant use capitals im feedind a bottle right now and typing-good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • she can be helped my sister used to go full time special ed , but only goes for math now-cause she does it slow-but she knows the work- she will always loss focus easier then other people if their is a distraction ( like kids talking while a test is going on)- but like i said she is an honor roll student now-my mom made the diffrence and the right meds. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Due to pm's I've gotten since my last post asking if somebody wanted to start a group about this I've considered starting one. pm me and if I get enough responses I'll start it.

    Answer by babyfat5 at 1:58 PM on May. 28, 2009

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