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What do you think of this? Is it weird or am I just reading into it too much?

Mother's Day was two and a half weeks ago now. My MIL desperately needs silverware. They literally have ONE spoon and three forks and they have eight people living in the house. So for Mother's day DH and I bought her a nice set of silverware. We went over there tonight and she is yet to open the silverware. It is sitting on the counter in the kitchen. I asked DH (in private) if she liked them or if she wanted to return them. I gave him the gift receipt to give to her to let her know she is welcome to return them if she wants another set or something completely different. But she won't do it. She said she wants the silverware and didn't give any reason to him for why she hasn't used them yet.
I think it is a little weird. I am not overly offended, but am wondering what is going on. I know she doesn't like me much and am wondering if it has something to do with that. Can you come up with any explanation?


Asked by aprilmommy123 at 3:17 AM on May. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (19)
  • Weird? Yes. I think it comes acrossed rude, but I don't know if she is meaning for it to come across that way. The first thing I thought was that maybe she doesn't like that set and wants to return them....but you have given her the receipt and she did something similar with dishes that you gave her before. She didn't givew any reason when your husband asked? That seems weird, like she might be hiding the real reason. She obviously needs them. I don't know how so many people share ONE spoon!
    I agree with anon, just mark it as a loss and remember this in the future when it comes time to buy another present. My MIL is really weird with gifts too. She doesn't open them because she wants to preserve them (?). It isn't that she doesn't like it, she just has weird social skills. She is weird when it comes to being gracious too. She won't say "thank you" because she has low self esteem and just feels like she doesn't deserve it.

    Answer by AnnaMac at 5:16 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Perhaps she's just being stubborn if she doesn't like you that much. I'd hope she'd come around and realize she needs to use it sooner or later to feed her household... and that it was an extremely thoughtful gift. If not, just forget about it and let her twaddle about with her one spoon! (How does a household of 8 even use one spoon anyways?!)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • LOL! They eat fast food alot and just used their hands ALOT of times. She is constantly washing dishes due to their lack of having them. Last year for her birthday I got her two sets of nice plate/mug/dessert plates. So she had 12 big plates, small plates, ect. I saw them being used at their house about 4 times and haven't seen them since. That was only a year ago and they don't have them now for sure.

    Answer by aprilmommy123 at 3:28 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • aww! I was gunna say maybe she just wants to wash them or something... but if she is constantly washing dishes then that's not the case. What happened to that set of dishes? Maybe she's afraid of loosing them? Or maybe she got offended becuase she feels like she's being judged?? I have no idea! I would be so thankful for the silverware if i only had 1 spoon and 3 forks with 8 people! What does you're FIL think? If she doesn't use them or they turn out like the plates did, I'd just be getting her cards!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 3:41 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • WTH! That just seems incredibly silly (and sorry but kind of gross) ESPECIALLY if she has a DIL that buys her these nice dishes that just sit there unused. I'd say if you buy her any more and she doesn't use them/they just vanish, I'd call her out on it and ask her what the deal is! Do you guys have like a Dollar General or Dollar Tree in your area?? If its a money issue, she could get really nice stuff for really cheap. And if that doesn't work, I'd chalk it up as a useless cause :S

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Maybe to her what silverware she had was good enough (did she request new silverware or was that just a gift you got on assumption?) Maybe she just doesn't have need for them right now and will use them when the time permits. I have plates that I have never used given to me 5 years ago, not because I do not like them but because the few plates I am working with are just fine. When the time comes I will use the plates that were given. I have learned sometimes the answer is right on the surface, it may not be the way you are taking it. (Just giving the benefit of the doubt)


    Answer by MRSnMOTHER at 4:08 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • she probably felt insulted

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • I am ALWAYS late to open and use things people give me because I am very busy. If she does everything for everybody and works there is your answer. She probably has not had time.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:16 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • People take it wrong from me too. I do not mean to hurt anyone's feelings but there are only so many hours in the day.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:17 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • While I would be estatic with new dishes or silverware, mabey she wanted something more on a personal level...? You know, bubble bath, makeup, something like that? My mom used to love getting stuff for the house but now we gotta really think when we buy stuff. So I either buy her rose bushes to plant (huge hit with my mom) or a card with money in it (prolly bigger hit.... hehe)...

    Answer by Gremlyn at 6:21 AM on May. 28, 2009