Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice on deployment for my kids?

My husband is leaving for Iraq for a year and half. I need advice on how to get my kids through it. We have a 4 year old and a 2 month old. Our 4 year old is taking it real hard. Just want to know what I can do to make it easier?

Answer Question

Asked by JadenKenzieMOM at 10:51 AM on May. 28, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I would say keep him busy. Go to the park or local swimming pool or playdates too. There is also the library and little things at home you can do like playing his favorite game, etc.

    Answer by MommaM2 at 11:00 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Put a picture of her Daddy by her bed. That way she can go to bed with him watching her sleep and she can say nite nite to her daddy and wake up to him and say hello daddy.
    Luckily your 2 month old will not know the difference. Don't be surprised if when he returns she doesn't know him. My DH was a truck driver and he was not able to come home for almost 3 months at one time. (he ended up quitting because my DH is an overly sensitive guy and he couldn't stand missing us) When he came home our daughter was 8 months old and she didn't know who he was and wouldnt go to him. It took almost a week to two weeks for her to get used to him. Yes, it is gonna be really hard for your 4 year old. My son took it hard when his daddy left for trucking. His attitude changed dramatically. He didnt understand where he was and why he wasn't around anymore. I just kept him busy with activities and going outside a lot. But we always talked about

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 11:02 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • We are going through our second deployment right now. Its been really hard on my daughter (3). At first I really didnt know what to do for her, but now when she starts really missing him, we color pictures for him, go to the store and get stuff for a "daddy package" to send to him. Or we'll sit down and look at pictures of daddy and talk about how much fun we're going to have with daddy when he comes home. There are also doll you can get called daddy dolls..go to . They have different things to help kids cope. Then ultimately...just keep them busy.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 11:02 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Daddy every day. and I put the pic of his daddy by his bed.

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 11:03 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • I wish I had some advice. But I did want to say that I'm sorry and if you ever need a friend I am here. Thank you for what your husband and family are sacrificing for all of us. Really Thank you.
    The longest my boys have been without my hubby was 2 weeks but even in that short time it affected them My 3 year old acted out. They are just too little to understand what is going on. I hope you find the support you need I'm sure you will begin to feel like single parent. Maybe you could make huge pictures of daddy. Daddy could pre-record lots of messages that Daddy loves them and to be good for mommy. Sorry thats all I got. Good Luck to your family.

    Answer by CarrienKansas at 11:06 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Have him read onto video and play it ea/day... My hubby and I printed on Photo paper 60 pics of him (from childhood to present day) and 60 of the kids and I. Each week we pin up a new pic on the board and laugh and talk about it. Especially his childhood ones. :oP When we talk to him on the phone it gives my kids' something to talk and takes away a little (just a little) of the missing-hurt. I bought a year pass to the zoo. It is reciprocal to other zoos that we happen to be travelling to this summer and holiday's. So, it will again, be something consistent to look forward to. Also, my kids and I made a 6"x6" scrapbook that has 15 pages empty in the back.We take pictures, and then are making a page for each month and sending it to him. My kids are having a blast as every day they want to take a picture and show daddy a lost tooth, new dress, swimming without floaties, etc... Good Luck and Bless You and your family.


    Answer by grlygrlz2 at 11:13 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • (ran out of space) So, it's small stuff, but imo, keeping somethings consistent in their life that is fun and still involves daddy, too. PM me if you need to vent or talk.

    Answer by grlygrlz2 at 11:15 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • i kept mine busy, we picked a day before he left that he would call (sunday was easiest for him) and our girls knew that was the day daddy would call, he gave them teddy bears the morning we dropped him off and left behind a uniform hat with each girl and took one toy from each girl. they had fun getting boxes ready. and we also told the girls what events would happen (for us because of when we moved his last one was very short, so we told them after the new baby comes, then daddy comes then we go on vacation) having some small sense of the time seemed to help them to.

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 11:21 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • Make them matching pillows, that way when they go to sleep they can be together. This was a really great support activity we did.

    We took inexpensive white pillow cases and did iron on picture transfers. The iron on transfers are available at Staples and Office Depot...Walmart or Target may have them too. We used a computer/printer and a pic of the parent and a pic of the kid/ for each pillow. The kids kept the parent pic and the parent kept the kids. We did this while the parent was deployed and sent them in care packages. I think it would be great to do before deployment as well.

    The first weeks and the last weeks seem the hardest to me. The mid deployment leave can also be really hard! Stay busy. Summer is here with LOTS of activities. Include your hubby in as many activities as you kind. Be creative. We took Dad camping via a pic taped to some posterboard stapled to a yard stick.

    Answer by yourspecialkid at 11:34 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • i've never been on the parent side, just the kid side of deployment. since your kids are so young they may feel like their Dad abandoned them. you need to keep reminding them that Dad's going to come back & that he didnt want to leave, but that its his job. make them feel proud of what their Dad is doing.

    make sure you find out & use every program the base/port/camp offers. the more fun the distractions the easier it will be for your kids (& you). there is a great website ( that has tons of printable pictures, ideas, & fun stuff like a distance calculator.

    and of course theres the phone calls, letters, packages, pictures, & stuff. my Dad still has all the letters we sent him throughout the years, it will be the high point of his day/week. maybe keep a scrapbook or video of accomplishments & send it to him every 6 months or so.

    Good luck & thank you to your DH & you for this sacrifice.

    Answer by okmanders at 11:38 AM on May. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.