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Help, I'm jealous of my unborn daughter!

I'm 7 months pregnant and my husband and I have not been intimate in 2 months! In the beginning, he was afraid because of my low lying placenta, that problem resolved itself and we were given the green light. Now, he is nervous that the "contractions" of an orgasm will induce labor. I'm frustrated because I recently discovered a slew of pornography on our home computer which made me feel even more undesirable.
The problem I see is this: He looks at me and sees my belly. I am no longer being seen as the sexy, desirable woman I once was; I am seen as the vessel through which his child will be born. Will I ever regain my sex appeal or will I only be seen as the mother of his child?

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Asked by ChrissMiss321 at 11:48 AM on May. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Don't be jealous of your baby. You are in a new category right now because you are carrying a baby. Pregnant women are beautiful and sometimes they are sexy. If you want my advice, you need to get rid of the porn. Sit down and talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel, how it makes you feel. He needs to be in tune with your feelings and your needs especially right now. If he neglects those feelings, you'll hold resentment towards him for a long time and you might even resent your baby for a while. He needs to get rid of the porn and explore your new growing body. GL


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 11:54 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • This is normal. Yes your DH still finds you desirable and he is just worried Not uninterested. Almost every man is worried that he will hurt the baby or hurt you. right now your belly is the babies home and he is probably freaked out about having sex where his baby's head lies. You will get your body back. Don't get mad at him for looking at porn. He is releasing his sexual frustrations out at a computer. My DH did that when I was pregnant. I didn't blame him. A man has to release himself. It is not good for their testies. It keeps the sperm healthy. But just talk to him and tell him there is nothing wrong with him feeling the way he feels and that it is perfectly safe to have sex. yes the orgasm is going to make you have a few contractions but that is good for your body. it helps your uterus get stronger and ready for birth. tell him that. good luck and sorry you are going through this rough patch.

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 11:55 AM on May. 28, 2009

  • With my first baby my placenta was low too so we couldn't have sex either. When the dr says "if the placenta ruptures, you will bleed to death before you can possibly make it to the hospital" it kinda kills the desire. I wasn't allowed to even pick up a gallon of milk, it was too dangerous. My dr was very persistent in telling my hubby not to let me do anything because it could kill me and the baby.
    My hubby was the same way and with our other babies he was nervous too because we're not dr's, can't see in there to know that it's not happening again. We lost our first baby due to the placenta malfunctioning. Please try to understand that he's scared. As for the porn... maybe you could offer to help him "release" instead of the porn?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:53 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • The trouble is, we have discussed it. And I understand the "need" for physical release, I have have offered to assist. I just don't get anything out of it, I know that may sound greedy but I still feel sexy and I also need release! I've embraced my new curves, I just wish there was some way to put his mind at ease so we could both get a little "release."

    Answer by ChrissMiss321 at 1:23 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I think you need to have an open and honest discussion about this with him. Tell him your feelings, your conserns about the porn and see where that gets you.

    Answer by salexander at 1:43 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • For some men it just weirds them out to know there is a baby in there when I was pregnant with my son my DF and I had sex up until I hit about 6 1/2 months then it stopped and he looked at porn, yeah it bothered me them but now that I look back IDC its not that big of a deal I wouldnt of wanted to have sex with someone with a big ole belly either. Dont worry eventually you will get your sex appeal back, I know we did as soon as we got the go ahead after the baby was born it was like it was before so dont worry about it. I will have to say I highly disagree with you on being jealous of your baby, its not her fault, what did she ever do to cause you to feel that way towards her, if anything be jealous of your DH NOT your daughter

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:09 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • It's not jealousy so much as it is feeling left out of the relationship. It went from being just he and I, to him and the belly. I just didn't expect it.

    Answer by ChrissMiss321 at 9:05 AM on Jun. 9, 2009

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