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Do you read your kids text messages?

I do and I usually don't find anything disturbing. That is until the other day. I saw that my daughter had gotten high with her boyfriend because he wanted her to. So, now what do I do. She does not know that I read her messages and I don't want her to. But this needs to be addressed somehow. Her and her boyfriend are 15 and he is manipulating her into doing things that I'm sure she really does not want to do. It's not just this, but other things as well. So what would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on May. 28, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • I would confront her about getting high. You are the parent, let her be mad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • They sell these fun litle test at the drugstore for home marijuana testing, If this happened in the past couple of days she will test positive. I would buy it and just leave it on the kitchen counter. I bet her eyes pop out of her head. You could always say you smelled it on her clothes, you need to keep checking those texts!!

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:33 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Do I, no. I would, however, in your case come clean with your daughter and tell her that you read her text messages and you saw that she's experimenting with drugs and talk to her about it. be honest with her. She may be a little miffed at first but she'll get over it.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 1:37 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I don't read my 16 y.o's texts because I feel that would be the same as if my parents had picked up the other line every time I was on the phone with my friends, teens deserve some privacy. In your situation I would have a general talk with her about peer pressure and drugs and sex. If I thought it was a one time thing I would just keep monitoring and not call her out on this one time, or just tell her you found out but don't tell her how just say "I have my ways" if you tell her that it was reading her texts all she will do is delete them as they come.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 5:14 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I refuse to buy my son a cell phone until he can help pay for it. He is only 14. What on earth does he need a cell phone for? If he wants to talk, dial on the house phone. Texting is not a problem at my house!

    Answer by jesse123456 at 5:42 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • When my sd was 16 she was hanging out with some questionable kids. While I knew she had a good head on her shoulders peer pressure can be rough. You can't choose who they hang out with at school. We introduced random drug testing. Marijuana stays in your system for 30 days and since she never knew when it was coming she would eithe have to refrain or get busted. Never once did her test come up positive. It also tests for more than one drug. Texting isn't a problem in our house either. No phone until they can pay for it.

    Answer by sadira29 at 6:21 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Yes maam! If the phone gets left down somewhere...that's when I check it out! It's my job to be aware of what is going on in her life. She gets plenty of privacy. I would just come right and talk to your dd. Being open and honest to me is what has worked best in our home so far. Of course she's going to be po'd. Give her a chance to cool off...and, discuss it with her some more. Good Luck mama. You'll know what to say.

    Answer by Loryl at 6:26 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Goalie mom, out of curiosity, what if your daughter was in this situation?

    Would you rather her get high and do God knows what else just because she needed,"Her privacy?"

    If she has nothing to hide, she shouldn't care and you should look at it as reaffirming that you've got a good girl on your hands.

    If you uncover trouble like this mom did, is her privacy really of more concern to you than her health or even her life???

    Answer by gabrielle_x at 10:11 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • At least it was only weed, it could've been alot worse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I do check my sons text messages but I have no problem with what or who he texts. He is almost 13 and pretty responsible. As for your situation, have a general talk about drugs, drinking and sex. Also, talk to her about the kind of respect she deserves from a boy. DON'T push her, nag or talk bad about the bf, it will only make her be with him more. If you come clean about checking her texts, she may never trust you again. Tread carefully.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:12 PM on May. 28, 2009

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