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To spank or not to spank?

I just wanted to see what others believe in.......My daughter knows mommy doesnt play the radio..she is 4 and can be testing with her words now ....i try not to spank but there are some things i cannot over look....How do you deal with your childs temper and when they Act out

 
emilysmama05

Asked by emilysmama05 at 1:35 PM on May. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • "There are no reasons in this world to ever resort to abuse. Regardless of what some parents think. Abuse is abuse no matter how you try to justify it . Even by calling it discipline. Parents are supposed to protect their children from pain, not be the cause of it.''

    Everyone has their oppinion, in all due respect I disagree completely!! Don't tell me I abuse my kids because thats the way I choose to discipline my children!! That would be like me saying your kids are gonna be trouble makers for the rest of their lives because you DON'T spank. I'm sure you wouldn't like that and I don't like you saying I "abuse" my kids because I do spank!
    KL24

    Answer by KL24 at 11:27 AM on Jun. 1, 2009

  • Im going to spank. My parents did it with bothe me and my sister and i didnt have to be spanked agian after i was about 6 i knew the rules and what was not allowed. My son will be born in july and i will spank him if he is bad but im not going to beat the crap out of him. Alot of people get those 2 things confused.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 1:39 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Do you really want to open a can of worms? LOL

    This is a debate for some people. Some mom's feel passionate about it. I am very confident in our decision not to spank our son. We discipline, we teach, we guide. With our son spanking isn't necessary time out works like a charm. If somebody spank their kids, we respect it as their prerogative as parents of those children but we secretly think that there are more effective ways to discipline children. We will never vocalize that to other parents but we know we will never spank or allow anybody to spank our child, there is no need for us.

    But hey, to each his own, their child, their problem, their business.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 1:41 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I have a 2 year old. She has definatly learned to push my patience. My parents never spanked any of us and I have never seen the point. Especially now that I have my own daughter, I am so amazed at how really young children understand so much more than we give them credit for.

    When my daughter disobeys or acts out, I get on on my knees (so we are looking eye to eye) and explain to her what I don't want her to do. She is still throwing some tantrums when I say no. If she does, I walk away and let her work it out. When she is done throwing her tantrum, she usually needs to be hugged and kissed to help her calm down.

    However, I think you can avoid a lot of problems before they start. Sometimes when my LO is acting out, she is just bored. Taking 20 minutes to play with her usually helps us to avoid problems. She just needs attention.

    Rewarding good behavior is a great way to avoid problems too.
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 1:44 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Making a big deal out of good behavior helps them remember to do it again.

    I think it is important to remember that a lot of misbehavior is really kids exploring and being curious. Try changing their focus. They may have too much energy too. Try taking them to the park or have active play time with them to get the wiggles.

    Yesterday, we were at the mall, and LO was being WILD!!! I only had 1/2 hour and was in a hurry. I told her if she was a good girl and stayed in the stroller, I would get her some "treat milk" (flavored mil) and crackers. She stayed in the stroller and read a book the entire time. And then she got her reward.

    Good luck!
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 1:48 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't spank my son unless he does the same bad behavior multiple times. And only if he is old enough to know better. To me a spank is a firm swat on the butt, not a total ass beatin. 4 year olds do tend to have a temper, because they aren't a baby anymore but still not a big kid, spanking should be a last resort.
    OwensMama824

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 1:50 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I was never spanked but I have a 5, 3, and 1&1/2 yr old and most of the time I can stay calm and still punish and they respond well to that but occasionally I will swat a behind and when I do they know it's serious business cause I hardly ever do it...I never spank my 1&1/2 yr old, that is an age where they are still learing and truely do not know better, My 5 and 3 yr old know better most of the time and I only spank when it's something really bad like dumping the whole can of pringles on my bed and then stepping and jumping on them!! That was the last spanking. Lol. I still think remaining calm and getting down to their level works the best and if you stay calm, they're more likely to be calm, but there are those times when you just have to make them realize you mean business!
    KL24

    Answer by KL24 at 2:00 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I believe in spanking...as long as the punishment fits the "crime". I don't spank my 9 year old son often..can't even remember the last time actually...but he KNOWS I will if his behavior warrants it. I think the fear of that alone keeps him in line when he's pushing my buttons.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:01 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Spanking is a last resort. First we try to talk about the behavior & try to correct it or what not (depending on what she is doing) then we put her in the corner.. if she isnt taking things serious & isnt showing signs of any change..... then she will get a spanking....
    I try not to spank that often cause I dont like it. But if its the last thing that will work. then so be it.. I was spanked as a child & learned really quick not to act up after a warning..
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 2:11 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • i have tried time outs and positive reinforcement alone but those things just never worked for us- i have 3 boys that are as stubborn as their dad lol and so i need the extra little boost of a spanking once in a while- especially when its something dangerous like the time my middle thought it was ok to run in the street- i popped him on his butt and told him how dangerous that was and he never did it again- or the time (my middle again) he jumped off of the beds foot board to body slam my youngest (thank God my youngest rolled over just in time to miss getting squished) there have been times when one of my kids would be doing something like my oldest swinging toys around where ill just say stop before u hurt someone or yourself and ill have to repeat it 5 or 6 times throughout the day sit them in time out and when they get out theyre right back at it but then ill finally spank them and have no problems with that behavior cont
    lovelyli217

    Answer by lovelyli217 at 2:29 PM on May. 28, 2009

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