Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

she doesnt want me 2 put her down (even right now)

my daughter is 3 weeks old now nd from day one she doesnt want me to put her down at all. i love her and i dont mind holding her but the problem is that i cant evn put her down when she falls asleep, as soon as i put her down she wakes up and cries so i have to pik her right up again. its amazing i am even able to use the restroom, which she cries thru because i have to put her down. what am i doing wrong??? tips? anyone???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • Are you swaddlng her? Remember, before they are born babies are in a tight, warm spot; when you hold them or swaddle them, it reminds them of their former home and makes them feel secure.

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:00 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • yes, i swaddled her but it doesnt make much of a difference

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • try puttin her in her carseat to sleep my baby is also 3 weeks old and if i lay him dwn in his basinette he will wake up. all 3 of my kids were like that

    Answer by kimmie123 at 4:02 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I can't say this enough: babywearing is a lifesaver! At this age she needs the contact with you; it's physiologically appropriate for you to hold her; she doesn't just want to be held, she NEEDS it. The wonderful thing about babywearing is that you do NOT have to let her cry - you can meet her needs AND your own. Everyone wins! There are a lot of benefits - too many to list in this short space - but I can tell you that finally getting my first sling was like heaven. The Babywearer has tons of information to help you choose and use a carrier.


    Answer by Collinsky at 4:15 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • And also remember: she is so little right now. Her needs during these early months are the most intense they will ever be. Choosing to hold her when she needs you now doesn't mean that you're locked into that for the next 18 years... in fact, a year from now, you will be running after her begging her to let you carry her, and she'll refuse. Take what comes as it comes - and right now that means lots of in-arms time. If you need to get more support around the house, do that, or learn to let some things go temporarily. You're right at that stage where you start to feel yourself again, and you want to get back to your life, but you can over do it so easily. Your baby needing to be held is one way nature tells us we still need to take it easy!

    Answer by Collinsky at 4:20 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • My DD was just like that from about 3 wks-8 wks. I thought I would go insane. I had to sleep with her at all times and hold her non-stop. Once she gained some weight she was better. Not only did she have to be held, she had to be moving-- I was exhausted! It will pass, I guarantee it. I thought my DD would be horribly high maintenance forever, but it stopped. She still wants to be held a lot at 12 wks, but it is not nearly as bad as it was. Get a sling or carrier to get stuff done and let her cry when you need to do stuff. It won't hurt her.

    Answer by danielp at 4:36 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Great answers! I know this is a really difficult time. But by responding to her needs, you are teaching her that she can trust you and to feel safe in this new world. My LO was like this for about the first year. (Longer than most). She is now 23 months and very independent. Sometimes she wont even let me play with her. lol!

    Good luck

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 4:53 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Is she spitting up at all? My son had a touch of reflux - although he didn't spit up - laying down was completely uncomfortable for him -

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:08 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Try to avoid the whole letting her cry thing. Sure once in a while when you simply cannot handle holding her anymore for a few minutes get away, but as a rule, at this young age, don't just let her cry.

    Babywearing in a sling or babywrap is a great alternative, you can accomplish anything you need to without even using your hands or arms to hold baby and they are usually content.

    My little one didn't want to be put down for the first about 6-8 months. It was hard, she wouldn't even lay down to nap, and I TRIED I really did, but what she needed was to be held. So I held her.

    When they are older, sure, let them cry, but not this young.

    Answer by WillDoDa at 5:17 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I think the whole baby wearing would cause stress and that can lead to not enjoying your baby etc. I hate the term baby wearing like your baby is a necklace but I do think it's important they get enough attention while being held etc. Try tummy sleeping, yes yes they say back now but before that it was stomach. My two children hated being on their back they would jerk awake etc but they did great on tummy sleeping and it actually made them happier through out the day getting enough sleep etc. Make sure there is no lose bedding and when they sleep tummy might help. For while she is awake hold her when you can and other times try a swing they work wonders.

    Answer by Willywonka06 at 5:26 PM on May. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.