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how do i get my mother in law to lay off?!

My mother-in-law keeps telling me all these things about labor and my fiance and i's baby. were having a boy hes due in oct. but she keeps telling me since i'm so little i'm going to have a c-section when i doubt i will. she keeps telling me my fiance was 9 pounds which has nothing to do with what or baby will be. she says shes going to buy all these things for it and looks for hand me downs which some i don't mind but i still have a baby shower yet and my mother would like to help as well. not only that but its or child also and i want to be able to support my child not my mother in law and parents thats why i moved out in the first place! i'm afraid shes going to tell us how to raise or little boy and i don't know how to tell her to lay off and not get her or my fiance mad at me!!! shes scaring me to death about going into labor and makes it sound like my mom isn't going to help at all! help me please!

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Asked by suckedintolife at 4:04 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (4)
  • She's your husband's mother ---- he should be the one to tell her to back off & respect your space & his family.

    If he doesn't, start with politeness. "Thank you for all your doing & all your advice & for sharing your experiences... but this is my baby & I'd like to discover some of this on my own."

    If that doesn't work, just stop talking to her.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 4:12 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Straight out tell your MIL to BACK OFF and if you WANT/NEED her advice/opinion you will ASK for it. Sounds like you need to set up some firm boundaries w/MIL pronto - you need to let her know that this is YOUR baby and you and your DF will raise YOUR baby the way you see fit. She's already raised kids, now it's your turn. Let your Mom/MIL buy/find whatever they want - it's their $$ you can't tell them how to spend it - you can CHOOSE to use it or not, that part is up to you.
    DF needs to start standing up to his Mom and putting YOU & your BABY first. He needs to tell his Mom to back off - if he won't/can't do it than by all means take matters into your own hands.

    Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Ok first of all the same thing happen to me when i was pregnant everyone keep telling me how bad labor is and all this stuff.But when i went in to labor is not that bad how everyone said it was going to be i mean it hurt but that bad so just listen but don't take it to heart you will see the day.And about your mother in-law you have to sit and talk to her and tell her how you feel because is not good to keep everything inside because the baby is feeling the same thing you take care and good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • She probably means well but it sounds like she's being overwhelming in the process. I agree with the first poster...approach her and tell you that you appreciate all the advice and the help but everything is getting a little overwhelmed for your right now and that you would like for her to be there when you have questions since you are new to everything. Ramdonly mention how excited you are for when the time comes to have a baby shower and how your mom is so excited for the baby and can't wait to help out with things for the baby as well. I think there's an indirect way in which you can get this message accross without hurting her feelings. good luck and congrats!

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 4:19 PM on May. 28, 2009

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