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How do you get your 23 yr.old daughter to move out,or stop being a spong with no respect for you and your things?

Our daughter works part-time 15 to 20 hours a wk. She payes her own ins. and her cell phone . We have not made her pay rent . we just want her to help around the house, keep her messes picked-up. Her dad and I both work full time he always works 10 to 12 hours a day , mine are 8 hrs with 2 15 min breaks . We both work too hard at work to come home and have to clean up after a 23 yr old that sat at the computer all day .. She does not do anything unless we threaten her . Now she can have no friends over until she cleans her room that you can not see the floor. We have 6 cats inside that she brought home 3 and said she would take care of and does not and we have a puppy that she said she would help with and does not !

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (20)
  • Pack her stuff, put it on your lawn and change the locks. If you don't want to do that, give her a written 30 day notice to vacate and let her know that if she does not, you will evict her.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 4:29 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I agree at 23 you are an adult able to handle the world on your own. My belief is is you are not going to college and working or working full time to save up to move out...get out of my house. You are an adult so act like one. I moved out the day I turned 18 and by 23 I had two kids and was married.....working and raising my kids with my husband....not partying all night and making my parents by my food and pay my bills. Kick her butt out, unless she is honestly trying to better her life by working or getting an education

    Answer by Kimx3babies at 4:38 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • At least Rent if nothing else. Otherwise, kick her out seriously. There is absolutely no reason for her to get away with that. She needs to take her animals too.

    Answer by WillDoDa at 4:56 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • You cannot KICK her out. It's her home. She has rights. You did that, so don't yell at me. However, you do have a recourse. You and dad sit her down and tell her what's up. Tell her exactly what you want from her. If you want rent then write up a lease agreement. If you don't want rent then still make her sign a contract agreeing to all terms or she has to get out. You have to evict her like you would any other boarder if she refuses to comply. You don't need the contract or lease agreement to evict her. You just have to formally file eviction notice and tell her you will if she doesn't straighten up. At her age she should be more responsible. Quit letting her mooch off you. I say make her pay rent or she'll stay there forever tormenting you. Why should you have to be the responsible one and she get a free ride. Actually you are enabling her and not teaching her how to cope with real life. Do her a favor and make her pay rent

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:23 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • As harsh as it sounds, she would come home and find her belongings on the lawn and the locks on the doors changed. I would tell her I love her and look forward to seeing her new apartment.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 5:32 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • admckenzie: She may live there but it isn't her house. She doesn't own it and doesn't pay the mortgage, the taxes, or have her name on the deed. She pays no bills, or help with the maintenance of the property. They can kick her out, and they should kick her out. She is using them in the most disrespectful and rude way. When it comes to this, she has no rights. If her parents want her to leave and stand on her own 2 feet, they can force her to do just that. They have allowed her to stay and tried to impose responsibilities. Now, they can force her to leave, and she will have to become responsible. It will be her choice to sink or swim. Most choose swimming.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I would get rid of her 2 cats because it is her responsability to take care of them not yours and if she cant do that then they need to go. If the puppy is hers also i would get rid of him 2. If she cant keep her stuff picked up then i would start to bag everything up thats not put away and let her think that it got tossed out. She might be more willing to help out and keep her stuff picked up. And why is she only working part time? Is she going to school? If not then she should be working full time. There is no way she will ever get out of your house if she only works part time. You might want to have a sit down with her and talk about all of this. She needs to grow up and not act like she is still in high school. Sorry if that sounds rude but thats just how i feel about the situation.

    Answer by Shelii at 7:37 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Start treating her like an adult instead of a teenager. Charge her rent, then after a few months she will decide since she has to pay rent then she might as well move out. Also put the cats on craigslist, or post them at a vet's office, if adopted out each one would get more love and attention. Also save the money you receive from her for rent and then when she says she wants to move out but can't afford to,give her the money she paid you for rent.

    Answer by cga at 10:12 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Sounds like your afraid of your 23 year old daughter? If not then why are you even asking strangers what to do? You know that at 23 she should be paying you rent, she should be helping and doing her share. You can either give her a 30 day notice to get out, tell her that as of next week she will be paying you 100 bucks a month and hand her a list of things she is responsible to do and that you suggest she look for a full time or work 2 part time jobs because she needs to have her own apartment by the end of the year. Or, you can put up with this nonsense for ever. The ball is in your court............good luck.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 10:12 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • KICK HER ASS OUT. That's what my mom did to me. It took 2 weeks of couch-hopping from friend to friend before I realized what I had back at home. My mom let me move back in and I did everything she asked from that moment!

    Answer by oh__you at 3:28 AM on May. 29, 2009

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