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Is there anything my husand can do with a counteractive BM?

My stepson has ADD, and the doctor has actually written recommendations that he be limited to an hour of "screen" time (tv, video games, computer usage), have limited sugars and caffiene, and he have one hour of reading or puzzle time a day (to help expand his attention, rather than diminish it as TV seems to do). This written doctors order as it were was given to BM. Today he came home just after lunch. He had two bowls of frosted fruit loops, a marmalade sandwich, and a kid cuisine with a brownie to eat. Uh huh. No fruit and only the little bit of corn that comes in the kid cuisine. He played an hour of video games and did no reading or anything otherwise. He played an hour of video games last night after my husband told her he had already had 20 minutes of screen time. This is no reading between 1 pm yesterday and 1 pm today. He played in his room or played video games. He had no water today, and none yesterday. CONT.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on May. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It sounds like you need to do an end run around the mother; I can't imagine a caring parent feeding any child like that. There are many therapists who work with people who have ADD/ADHD; they teach them not just coping skills, but how to use ADD/ADHD as an advantage in their lives. Thom Hartmann has written extensively on this topic; you should be able to find his books art your local libraray, though you may want to buy a copy for the mom (and the step son); there is lots of information at his website: http://www.thomhartmann.com/category/thom/adhd-education/. You may also want to provide her with information on how foods affect behavior, either from the Feingold Organization (www.feingold.org) or another source.
    It would be great to get him on fish oil supplements, but if they can't be taken every day, they won't be of any value.
    It is wonderful that you are taking an interest in this child.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:47 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • OP

    He had Coke with dinner last night and they had pie with whipped cream for dessert. Is there anything that my husband can actually do? I mean, this all came from her. We do a ten minute run down with all the transfers, and this is what she said. This is her idea of limiting sweets and caffeine. She is disregarding doctors orders, but is there anything we can do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Maybe you and your husband could try and get custody. Let the court know that his mother isn't following Drs. orders. Call the Dr. and let him/her know that she isn't following orders too. Maybe he will report it to CPS?
    sarahmae3

    Answer by sarahmae3 at 6:51 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Is this all you women know,step-mom against BM,and reporting someone to CPS,shut up and mind your business,you aren't worried about your SS ,this is just another way to make yourself look good for your DH,I get so mad,when,I hear stories like this,oh,if,you do some research,you will find,that some DRS. will use TV,video games for kids with ADD,they noticed that playing these games take alot of concentration,they have even learned over the years,if,a child can play on a game and sit for 2 hours,maybe they have been misdiagnosis,and,yes,I'm quite sure of my facts,this has been reported on the news serval times ,please pull this info up on DR. WEB,or ask another dr.,before you report this mother of neglect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I AGREE!
    Answered at 5:03 PM on May. 28, 2009 by: Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Is this all you women know,step-mom against BM,and reporting someone to CPS,shut up and mind your business,you aren't worried about your SS ,this is just another way to make yourself look good for your DH,I get so mad,when,I hear stories like this,oh,if,you do some research,you will find,that some DRS. will use TV,video games for kids with ADD,they noticed that playing these games take alot of concentration,they have even learned over the years,if,a child can play on a game and sit for 2 hours,maybe they have been misdiagnosis,and,yes,I'm quite sure of my facts,this has been reported on the news serval times ,please pull this info up on DR. WEB,or ask another dr.,before you report this mother of neglect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • OP here

    We have seen 7 doctors. All of them have given use guidelines similar to this. She has never gone to any of the doctors appointments. As for the video games, she puts him in his room to play when she cannot handle him not listening to her anymore. Those are her words. What are supposed to do with that. She was reported to CPS by her counselor not too long ago, but never from us. CPS found nothing wrong with the situation. It is just really hard when he is so good here, but then after the 24 hours he spends with her, we have to completely start from square one. He has lived with his dad his entire life, I have been there since he was about a year old. She only came back into his life about 3 years ago. We were in the process of getting custody relinquished by default abandonment when she came back. I can assure you, this isn't a case of me wanting to look good for my husband. This is me wanted to help him. Thanks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on May. 28, 2009

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