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What to do about stepson laying his hands on me?

It's a long story but to make it short. My stepson laid his hands on me for correcting his behavior. He was banging a small bat against the furniture (which he had already been talked to about) my husband did nothing so i went into the room and asked him to hand it over and he refused yelling "it's my bat". Then he used it to push against me to prevent me from grabbing it. I grabbed the bat to stop him from pushing me and he continued to struggle with me. He finally let go of the bat and balled up a fist ready to hit me. My husband walked in and asked me to leave the room and did nothing to address it. Basically it came down to the fact the I asked for it because I shouldn't of gone in there in the first place and that I should've gone and told my husband. Now a week later they expect me to walk around as if everything is o.k. What should I do. I cant stand being in the same room as this kid.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would sit down and have a long talk with my husband. There is no way in hell you should tolerate that and your husband should make you feel like you should. You guys have to look like a team or this kid is gonna think you guys are a joke and walk all over you ...and later his father too. Good luck.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:31 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • You definitely need to sit down with your husband. If he is unwilling to parent this child in your home, you will be forced to step in. He can't be allowed to do whatever he wants because his father feels guilty or whatever is going on. You two have to, have to, have to appear as a united front so to speak. Otherwise, the child will decide that he can do whatever he wants and he can turn you two against each other in the process. This sort of discipline is causing a lot more harm than good, IMO.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 5:41 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Just like everyone else said you definitely need to seriously sit down with hubby and tell him that that sort of behavior is NOT acceptable, I cannot believe he actually told you that you ask for it WTF! I would be livid, no child acts that way towards an adult, had he acted up a daycare or school like that would the adult there have 'asked' for it also, what a joke. I have to ask though does your stepson live with you guys full time or just visits? If its full time or even 50% of the time, you guys need to be on the same page and handle EVERYTHING like a team, make up rules and guidelines. Besides that what is your DH teaching his son by letting him get away with this sort of thing? Whatever happened to just respecting ALL adults?

    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 5:50 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • You need to talk things over with DH. You should not be having power struggles with your step son. If he ever does hit you, call the police asap. He needs to learn that hitting someone = jail time. Now I am worried that you refer to your stepson as "this kid". It sounds like there is more going on here than just this situation and you may be partly to blame. I would never be married to anyone that referred to my child as "this kid". Nor would I ever be married to a man when I didn't accept him AND his child into my life. Talk this over with DH and see if he wants to go to family therapy because I think that would help all three of you.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:15 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I'm with your husband. He should have gone in there to deal with his child not you. And if he didn't have a problem with what he was doing then oh well. At least he is trying to let it slide. I wouldn't be so forgiving.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:54 AM on May. 29, 2009

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