Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i lovmy husband but i hav nightmares about my ex

the father of ,my first child treated us bad. i was hit nd he even used to hit my baby wen he cried too much at only 3 months. needless to say i left him and i felt so stupid for haven been with him that long. currently my entire situation has flipped. im married with a wonderful man who works hard to support me and a child thats not his own. he plays with my son lik he's his own. he treated me wonderful while i was pregnant with our daughtr nd now she's born nd she is precious. but when she cries i sometimes get flashbacks of the past and i look at my husband and i feel scared, but he just smiles at me like the wonderful husband tht i kno he is. but sometimes i unconsciously keep the baby close to myself nd im afraid to let anyone hold her for too long, includin my husband. what can i do to stop myself? i kno ths will only hurt myself.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I bet your new husband understands since he knows what you went through. Just give yourself some time and they may go away. It sounds like you went through a horrible ordeal. Tell your new hubby about it and tell him that you trust him, but you just like to keep the baby close.

    Answer by Indygirl18 at 5:36 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I didn't have kids with my ex. But I do have issues because of him. And my hubby knows this, and bless him, he has stuck it out. We have been married for over 13 years, and I STILL have issues. Last year, maybe the year before, I woke my husband up. He had to wake me up because I was having a nightmare. In it I saw a man in all black, couldn't see his face. He was over our bed, over my hubby, with a knife. My hubby woke me up and told me everything was fine, he knows who he (in the nightmare) is, and he's not there. I asked him how did he know, because I didn't see a face. He said I was screaming "NO _____! _____ NO NO!!"
    I'm sure your hubby is well aware of what's going on, and he's in it to stay with you. You are so very lucky to have a man that loves this child as his own. And your son is very lucky to have him, too. I wish I could say that this will go away some day, but it probably won't. It won't be as bad, but it will

    Answer by Buffie95 at 5:41 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • still be there. Don't be so hard on yourself, just take things day by day. It's not a conscious thing, you worrying about abuse. It's not, and I'm sure your hubby knows that. It will get better, but you need to make a consious effort to make things better. Have talks with yourself, so you can work on calming yourself down. Take baby steps with him holding this baby, so that you learn how to relax more about it. The more you worry, the harder it will be to get through it, but you will!

    Answer by Buffie95 at 5:43 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • i went through the exact same thing with my ex. but he didn't hit the girls, just me in front of them. im sure that your new man will understand this if u talk to him about it. just try to realize that all men are NOT alike.

    Answer by kalielaynastar at 6:26 PM on May. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.