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Lost interest in sex.....

I have had issues w/ sex for a long time now. When my mom found out I was having sex at 16 she beat me & I left her house (six years later & I still have not seen or talked to her since). She was also abusive before this I just think this was the last straw. So I then got my own place stayed in HS but drank, partyed, smoked, hooked up, etc. Sex was never more then a craving for attention. Now my BF & I have been together for 3 years & have a kid. Right before I got preg. I had lost interest in sex. I have had an orgasm but its not so "earth shattering" as everyone seems to say it is (at least not to me). I think its messy & get grossed out by the thought & its too much work. I do have some body image issues & after my kid my boobs r deflated baloons. Is this normal? Any tips on how to get interested in sex? I want to have a healthy sex life but dont know what to do. Thanks


Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I had the same issues using sex as a coping thing when I was raped twice. Im on anti-dep and usually the first thing to go is the urge to have sex. I am now a consultant for Pure Romance and we sell an arousal cream that really helps. Take a look and message me if you have any ?s. An arousal cream might be what you need and your partner wont even know if you have used it. it helps to direct the blood flow in the clitoris and will give you the urge to want sex again. is my site.

    Answer by mrsmilander at 4:54 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • One word- Therapy. You used sex as a coping mechanism and now that you don't have to "use" it to cope anymore you've lost interest in it.Please seek therapy to get to the root of the problems and work through your childhood abuse.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:16 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Your issues with sex might stem from your traumatic experience with your mom. Also maybe the thill of sex is just gone for you. However you did exprees some things that i too had issues with which is body image. There was a point in my life where i was not happy with my body therefore getting naked to make love was not number one on my list. However when you learn to truly love your body and your partner makes you feel sexy these feelings will turn around for the better. I also lost sex drive when i was pregnant with my twins and we only had sex one time during the pregnancy. Then when they were born my marriage had so many issues that i didint even want to think about sex with him. Now in my life I can get enough. I will tell you how i git here.
    1. I finally love me. My husband is always flirting with me (which i still sometimes reject because it is a blessing he loves me the way i am and i have to constantly remind myself

    Answer by Harlem-GADiva at 10:18 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • I am beautiful and he thinks i am sexy.
    2. Our marriage is great now and the issues have gone away and there are no distractions for my love for him.
    I too had a bad experience where I was violated but you know what I gave it to God. And he has allowed me to be healed and enjoy my sex life with my husband.
    So Pray, learn to love yourself, work on your marriage, and try to put the past behind you. Communicate with your husband so he knows what you are feeling so he can help you enjoy making love again. (Joke: And if all fails Tequila gets me loose as goose! lol ) HAve fun and enjoy

    Answer by Harlem-GADiva at 10:22 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • It could be hormones when we get pregnant our hormones turn into a completely different person and after we give birth they don't always go back to the way they were. See if you can have your Dr do a blood test this would show if your hormones are out of wack.

    Answer by northcarolinama at 10:33 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • You need to see a psychologist for your past issues with your will never gain interest in sex unless you learn to be comfortable with yourself.....good luck to you...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • And yes, another thing that helped was talking to someone about it.

    Answer by mrsmilander at 4:55 PM on May. 29, 2009