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Feeling Bad For Disiplining my 3 Year Old

She doesn't want to mind me and has started to get mouthy and she's VERY energetic and "bounces off the walls. I try "being nice" and telling her to stop or calm down, then I try taking her to her room and sitting her on her bed and tell her to stay there bc shes in trouble (that just causes screaming and yelling from her), and finally the 3rd time I've told her I'll spat her on the leg when she still doesnt mind. It makes me feel bad for spatting her on the leg and even makes me feel bad when I send her to her room and I hear her cry. How can I get her to mind me so that she understands she can't do whatever she wants and me not feel bad for disciplining her?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • i am going through that same thing
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • Don't give in, set her in a time out and let her scream until her heart is content, if you give in you set it up for her to be louder and ornerier later. Persistance is very important, stick with it! She's not crying cause she is injured she is crying cause you won't let her have her way. Two very different reasons.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:52 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • When you strike another human, you are sending the message that sometimes hitting is the best way to solve a problem.
    When you punish a child by putting her in her room, her room becomes a prison, instead of a haven.
    We used a sad chair for timeouts, with an eggtimer. A child in the sad chair would be completely ignored during the time out. Sometimes, the most beloved item (such as a blanket) would go in the closet as a punishment.
    Most important, be firm, be consistent.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:34 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • I don't think you mean "spat"? Isn't that the past tense of "spit"? lol

    Don't give warnings. She's old enough to know how to behave correctly within reason. I would pick a spot where she would go for her time out (it's usually recommended not to use the bed/bedroom because that could cause sleep issues later..don't know) If you tell her to do something and she doesn't do it/refuses to do it then send her right to time out. When she is ready to do as she was told, THEN she can get out of time out. It might take 30 seconds or 30 minutes. So be it. If she is released from time out and then refuses, put her butt right back. (oh, I've found standing makes them agree much quicker lol they tire faster) Release after a certain time is an immediate reward...release.

    If you're going to spank, I personally would rather see it done on the butt not the leg. But that's me.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 11:45 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • I read a really good book called 10 mistakes that good parents make and I recommendyou get it if you can. The doctor who writes it makes the really good point that when we allow ourselves to get angry before we enact consequences or when we repeat requests we teach our kids that they can get away with things up until the point that their parents get angry. That they don't have to listen the first time we talk.  It helps to emphasize communication and positive interaction/discipline you should really check it out.

    dreyamom

    Answer by dreyamom at 11:43 PM on May. 29, 2009

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