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how do i get out of a relationship of ten years with two kids and no money or job?

I been married for ten years.very rocky ten years.our relationship went sour when
we got married.we fought alot when we dated.we kept breaking up on off.he was my
first everything and my last.we are living in my parents effeciency.we always had
money problems.when we got married we had zero money.he had just graduated
collage.i never had a proper proposal.he has never swept me off my feet.i only have
a high school diploma.i have a phobia of driving.i dont drive.i depend on him and
my parents for everything.i worked before i got married.then i quit working to play
house.now i have two kids no money,drowning in debt again.the first time his parents bailed us out.we have never bailed ourselves out.he makes promises that
he is going to be rich.they have led to losing money and getting in legal problems.
im just sick of living with my parents.im not lazy.i love working.i have no one to watch my kids.i need to work.

Answer Question
 
mima1972

Asked by mima1972 at 11:00 PM on May. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • First calm down momma...I have learned when you take one thing at a time you can reach your goal easier..Can your parents help out with the children? If not depending on the state you reside in your hubby will have to help out with the daycare exspense.
    Have you reached out to get any legal advice..
    And you can drive, and you will drive...Fears need to be faced and if you really want it you can do it.
    Us women are so much stronger than men, most men, you can do what ever you put your mind to. Reach out to family and freinds you will know who really cares for you.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:05 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • You need to find a daycare, a job and get rid of him. Go talk to a lawyer and start filing papers. He doesn't have a leg to stand on if he doesn't have a job and if you are living with your parents tell them to kick him out! You should be able to get some daycare assistance if you don't have much of an income and especially when you become a single mom and try to move into an income based apt. and don't be afraid to drive, it's great feeling of independence! Good luck to you and start living your life for you and your kids not your lazy, bum of a husband!
    slynnb

    Answer by slynnb at 11:10 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • No matter what, you need a job and that might start with brushing up on your skill set, whatever that is. Most offices will hire you if you can type and are familiar with MS Word, Email, Excel. You could file, just answer phones, start at a temp agency or Starbucks or small medical office. Get a job to get some freedom and them look at breaking up the rest of the problems into one thing at a time. You have to work to free yourself from this, just as if you didn't have kids or a husband, how would you exist on earth? You have to find a means to eat, have shelter, etc. Find work and the rest will fall in place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on May. 28, 2009

  • YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR STORY SOUNDS A LITTLE SIMILAR TO MINDS EXCEPT i AM NOT MARRIED BUT i HAVEONLY BEEN INTIMATE WITH ONE MAN FOR SEVEN YEARS AND THATS THE FATHER OF MY CHILD. i HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WITH SCARED OF LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE. AND HOW i WOULD PROVIDE FOR MY DAUGHTER. THE ONLY ADVICE i CAN TELL IS GET A PART TME JOB AND IF YOU CAN NOT GET THE GRAND PARENTS TO HELP YOU. I AM SURE THERE ARE PLACES THAT HELP YOU WITH CHILD CARE AND THE FATHER IS REQUIRED TO HELP WITH DAYCARE COSTS. AND IF YOU ARE READY JUST GET A LEGAL SEPARATION i AM SURE YOU HAVE PLACES OUT THERE WITH SUBSIDIZED HOUSING. JUST MAKE THAT FIRST STEP TOWARD YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN HAPPINESS! i HAVE i AM ALREADY TAKING DRIVING LESSONS! i HOPE THIS HELPS SOME!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • Okay, the first thing you need to do is look for a babysitter/daycare and find a job. Then I would consult a lawyer/legal aid. Find out what your rights are, get started on child support and custody. Next would be to talk to your parents, since you live with them tell them you are filing for divorce and would it be possible for you/kids to stay? Since it is their home they should be the ones to give husband notice that he has to move out . I hope everything works out for you!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:23 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • ty for your answers.i left him finally.not divorced yet i cant afford it.going on two years seperated.still living at home.the state wont help me.i dont qualify for daycare bc this is the best part i make too much money.the state decided his childsupport should be 400 dolllarsfor two kids.the state says thats good enough to live on.im still stuck.
    mima1972

    Comment by mima1972 (original poster) at 1:29 AM on Aug. 1, 2011

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