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How do I do this?

I had a tragic childhood to say it nicely. My mom was a drunk and a whore, and me and my siblings were forced to see her disgusting lifestyle. We saw more as kids than many adults have ever seen, and probably would have been taken away if she hadn't been such a good liar. I have vowed never to let my own child know that life.

Well, for the past few years my mom has been pretty normal. She really seemed like she wanted to be there for me, and I was dumb and let her. A few weeks ago she got right back into her old lifestyle, and now I don't know what to do.
My son loves his grandma, and my 17 yr old sister that lives with her. (She is not at all like my mom) He cries because he wants to see them, but my mom will not let my sister come over here because I won't let my son go over there. At my sisters request I will not start any legal drama.
What can I do to make this easier on my 3 y.o. son? He used to see his auntie daily...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on May. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Thats really sad and i'm very sorry, if it helps a little you are definitly doing the right thing. I would be honest with your mom and tell her exactly why you won't let him over there (which sounds like you may have already) and just keep asking her if your lilttle sister can please come over. Maybe she'll come to her senses, the children shoouldn't be kept apart because of adult differences(even though you are not wrong) , or maybe she'll get sick of you asking and just give in. I don't know i wish i could help you. Good Luck.
    Iluvmygirlies42

    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 12:43 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • well, your sister is 17, so I have two suggestions: Can she come somewhere else to meet you and your son, or does she have a job that you can maybe go meet her on her break or something? My second suggestion would just be wait until she is 18, then she can do what she wants.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:38 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • She is 17! She can go over there if she wants to. Just tell her to stop giving in to your mother's childishness and come over.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 9:35 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • It is a difficult situation. One I know to well. My mother is a loser has been my whole life, drunk, druggie, whore, child abuser and so on.

    A couple of years ago she came to live in the state I am in and said she wanted to be a mom and grandma, so I allowed her.

    She messed it up, my children who are 12, 11, 7, and 5 loved thier grandma, but she is not good for them, I explained that grandma is going through things right now and we need to just pray for her.

    As far as the sister, if she can meet you somewhere.

    Why does she not want you to do anything about the situation?
    Tinamarie79

    Answer by Tinamarie79 at 10:41 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • ** My sister does not want to do anything about the situation because she is afraid of how it will affect her. Right now this is a private matter, and there is no need for her friends, teachers and everyone else to know.
    Also, she does not work because that would cut my mom's food stamps benefits. She does however volunteer for the red cross and work for school credits in the school's health office, but neither of those are places where I can take my son to visit her.
    Right now she is a junior and on the honor roll. She may make valedictorian next year. The school is one of the best public schools in the state, and if CPS were to cause trouble she would be coming to live with me... and switching to a pretty crappy small town school. She wants to graduate where she is, where she has a good chance at scholarships.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on May. 29, 2009

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