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MIL drama...

My husband and I are about to go on vacation for a week. Its our first vacation alone since our son was born, he'll be staying with friends of the family. My INSANE MIL has decided that this is not appropriate and she needs to put a stop to it. Might I also mention that my MIL lives across the country and dumped my son with his grandfather when he was 4 because she wanted to run away with her bf...and my hubby's half brother? Instead of doing the mature, sensible thing like explaining to us that she's uncomfortable with us leaving her grandson (who she never calls to ask about unless its to bitch at me for something she heard from my FIL-hubby's grandfather that raised him) with an 18 year old and her family (I've known them for years) she's trying to put an end to the trip by causing a rift between my husband and I! She's trying to plant in hs mind that our son isn't his! WTF! Hubby's not going for it, but wtf do I do?

 
metalhealthmama

Asked by metalhealthmama at 1:05 AM on May. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • Your MIL sounds INSANE - be thankful she doesn't live anywhere near you where you'd have to deal w/this face to face. If she is causing so many issues in your marriage your DH needs to say something to her and get her to knock her crap off - and if she doesn't a good old fashioned time out or cut off should change her attitude. GO ON VACA as planned you obviously feel comfortable leaving your son w/family friends. MIL can throw a tantrum all she wants - she has NO SAY in what you do w/YOUR child. Sounds like she may need to be reminded of that.

    And to Chrissy - I guess my DH and I must be bad parents becuse we "dumped our kids off" at FIL/SMIL's last wkend because (*gasp*) we went away for the first time together in 3 yrs w/out kids. Even married people need a break from the kids every now and then - and my kids get to spend quality time w/their GP's so its a WIN-WIN situation.
    Fooph121780

    Answer by Fooph121780 at 8:25 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • KILL Her, put a gagg order on her! LOL Tell her that if she puts her unwanted, untrue, family disrupting 2 cents in where it isnt wanted or needed, you are going to put a five fingered fist in her face.......

    But maybe not in those same words

    I know Im not being helpful, but it sounds like you really just need to do something at least semi-durastic to get your point across
    HunnysFarAway

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 1:11 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • If she didn't live across the country I probably would have slapped her by now, LOL. I just don't get it! She's never even met me in person...why would she try to convince DH that our son isn't his? Why?!?!?!
    metalhealthmama

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 1:14 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • i know this isn't gunna make much sense to begin with, but i have a friend whose mil is jealous of her marring her hubby! She has tried every way to get in between them and it's ridiculous!!! And another mil came up for the soldiers deploying and she kicked the wife out of the bedroom so they couldn't have sex while she was there. I'd flip!!!! I couldn't imagine having a mil like every1 else seems to have!!! I would be furious and wait for her to actually meet me and confront her. Until then, he knows the truth, you both need to go on that vacation for the two of you! I'm so sorry to hear this!!! I hope it gets better and that you do go on your vacation and voice your concerns to your hubby! GL
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 1:21 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • 07lilmama1108- kicked her out of the bedroom? That is when the cops would have been called cause I would have kicked her @$$, NO ONE gets in the way of my husband and I "performing our marital duties" ESPECIALLY before a deployment. Its been 6months since I have even SMELLED my husband! And I have another month to go! Step in on that B*TCH and ILL KILL YOU! Pop a CAP in your BUTT!

    I dont like my mil she has more screws loose that can be counted by a human being in a lifetime. I just dont answer the phone sometimes. Or call her before she can call me because I am in a mood to deal with it and know I wont be later
    HunnysFarAway

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 1:32 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • What she has done in her past has nothing to do with you. She is right. When you become a family you do things as a family. You don't dump your kids off on friend so you and your man can take a vacation alone. You will have pleanty of time for that whey they are grown.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:34 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • Actually there are times when it is appropriate to go away as a couple, and if MIL was sane and didn't like the family friend watching the grandson, she would offer to fly out and watch him herself. That's what I would do if one of my kids needed a babysitter so they could get away. Of course with this woman's track record of dumping babies and running off I don't know that I would want her watching my kid. MIL is obviously projecting her own problems. If I was your hubby i might want to get DNA tested along with the person he thinks is his father. MIL could be projecting a long buried secret about herself. I would highly recommend that when your MIL calls you either hand the phone to your DH or tell her he isn't home and hang up on her. He should be dealing with her. The two of you have never met. It is not your job to take her crap.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • I find some of you post quite funny. I think it is nothing wrong in taking a vacation. Whose to say they don't take a vacation with there kids. And personally I don't think she is so called "dumping" her kids off anywhere. You all are making it seem as if this is a last minute thing and she just called everybody in phone till someone said yes...And if you read the post...If the mother in law lives across the country and barely sees or talks to her grandson how would she possibly see if someone else is fit to watch their child. It is ultimately there decision and I feel if both parents feel comfortable with the friend than it is okay. I have a 10 month old and my MIL and FIL wanted to take her to Louisiana with them for Memorial weekend. After awhile I agreed. Not to DUMP my child off with them. So what's the difference in my child going out of town with out me regardless if that is her grandparents. and them leaving there
    SCrockett

    Answer by SCrockett at 1:03 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • child with a family friend...sometimes family friends can be more trustworthy than your own family...and to the writer of this post...i would go enjoy the vacation with the hubby and just pay your MIL no attention..you don't need the added drama..you said your husband is fine and not buying it so as long as she isn't causing a rift i would keep quiet because if she is like this already you saying something would only make it worst
    SCrockett

    Answer by SCrockett at 1:06 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Wow, what does your hubby think of all her drama? Maybe he should talk to her and tell her to butt out, what the 2 of you do does not concern her. As for the vacation, I certainly would not change my plans because of her. I agree- married couples do need some "alone" time and it is perfectly ok to leave your child/ren with an acceptable trustworthy person.
    I hope she will back off and leave you alone, and I hope you have a GREAT vacation!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:46 PM on May. 29, 2009

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