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do you want another baby and your SO doesnt?

i want another kid...ive always wanted 3...i compromised to 2....but he doesnt want another kid period. he would get a vasectomy if i agreed. but i really, really want another baby ...maybe not today but i dont want to wait forever. our daughter is 2.5 years old now and i feel like its a good age to have the 2nd but he just doesnt want another kid. did your SO ever not want a 2nd when you did?

 
moki1984

Asked by moki1984 at 10:03 AM on May. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (573 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would talk to him, but it sounds like you knew his wants before having children and as you said 'compromised', you two need to come to common grounds on this and if he agree to two children from the beginning, then you need to remind him of that. You could agree to take a break and get on birth control, and set a date together of when to try for number two, giving you two a chance to come to an agreement. This could give you a larger gap between children than you wanted, however it would mean you do get to have that second child at a time that would be best for both of you without causing marital issues.

    Knightquester

    Answer by Knightquester at 2:10 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Yes. My husband flipped when I told him I was pregnant with our second. ...Not so much because he didn't want the baby, but because he was scared to death that we couldn't afford another baby. ....And that pretty much all went out the window when he found out that the baby was a boy :o)
    rockn2abeat

    Answer by rockn2abeat at 10:52 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • its not financial...we can handle another. and im not trying to get pregnant, im on birth control (although having some issues right now that are making me a little paranoid)
    i just hope that one day...he agree's with me and we try for another. i want a boy! i told him i want anthony jr lol

    its not money...well i mean to a point it is but we could handle it. its more so he just doesnt want the work and stress of another baby
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 11:21 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • If you have a child that he doesn't want, then you run the risk of him resenting the child. If the two of you truly agreed to have two, then you need to ask him why is is not willing to keep his word.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:39 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • i wouldnt go out and get pregnant on purpose just to spite him because i want another. ill do it when he agree's he wants one too.
    on one hand he has said ohh having a son would be cool but not until were older and have more money. i really do not want to wait till im in my upper 30's for the second kid.

    ehhh time will tell. we'llj ust keep doing what were doing now. when the time is right, we'll know
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 1:28 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Having a baby is a big issue, and something both should agree on. If he is not wanting another baby then I would let the matter rest- for now - and a few months from now bring the idea up and discuss it again. If at that time he does not want another and will not think about it or discuss it- then it might be time to let it go for good. You both already agreed on 2, so you might have to be happy with that. I hope things work out.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:28 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • im on birth control right now..i have been. but im having a few issues and weird symptoms andi just changed bc's so im sorta freaking cause well.......who knows.

    in the end it sonly right that we do it together..make it a happy occasion you know? i wont force...ill be patient. were not old yet heh. he told me "how about we get a really nice fish tank and you can pick the fish" hehehe. i was like well...that does sound really nice for our livingroom, but thats not exactly a baby lol.

    i have to wait..i have to wait. we have a gorgeous toddler and not everyone has that much. i just pray one day he decides he is ready for number 2....or more hehe. but i know he wont want more than that. some small part of him would like a son, i think most men do....so to me thats a lil bit of hope because he has that "i want a manly offspring" thing to take after him
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 2:32 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • "You both already agreed on 2, so you might have to be happy with that. I hope things work out." we only have one right now who is 2 years old. not 2 kids
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 2:33 PM on May. 29, 2009

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