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Am I out of line?

My husband and I took his mom, her b/f, and my hubby's brother in last year because they were evicted.Our bills doubled and rent went up almost $200.We never saw a penny from any of them and lost everything. My hubby and I separated and had a lot of other issues.His mom found a new two story house that they moved into for free.We broke down last October and begged to move in with them.They let us move in, but now all I hear is how we need to get jobs. (We've been busting our butts looking) And how dirty me and the kids are.The oldest brother (30 years old) gets waited on hand and foot.I am expected to clean up after him and am blamed for most of it anyway.My mil will give my kids pens or cake after I said no and then blame me for whatever they did with it.They say they bite their tongues on a lot with me and the kids. And she tells my husband a different story.He thinks I am taking things out of proportion.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on May. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Nope. You should remind her how much she took from you and made you lose everything. The least she can do is support you right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • find your famiy or just find soewhere else and move! good luck
    chukuku

    Answer by chukuku at 10:51 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • I dont know that you are out of line but unfortunantly since you are living in her house, you cannot say too much. She obviously is not as compasionate as you were to her and her family so hang in for a bumpy ride til you can leave. Then when you can get out by all means let her know how horrible it was to feel trapped in a house with her after all you did for her. Some people help others and do it out of kindness, and some like her do it so they can control you and be a jerk. sorry hon hope you can get out soon.
    Also hubby could stand up to her and ask her to lay off....thats not fair that he doesnt and my hubby is like that too. big mamas boys.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:52 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • I would find someone else to live with before it really gets out of control. My husband and I lived with my mom and dad for almost a year and finally found a place to rent that was cheap and not run down. I know how stressful it is to live with inlaws. ( i lived with mine for almost a month before I had to take my kids and leave). I would tell your MIL that she didn't pay you anything in rent why should you? You and your husband need to find a place of your own as soon as possible so you can save your marriage if it is possible.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 10:53 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • We've paid her some. My husband scraps when he isn't looking for work. She says it isn't enough though. It's not that I don't want to pay her for living here... It's just that I don't feel like we're wanted and then to top everything off she tells my husband that everything is fine and that it's all in my head when I break down to him. I can't do anything with the kids. Just last night they wouldn't eat dinner. My mil brought out a huge pie and tried to give them some. I told her no the kids didn't eat dinner. She turned around and told them that if I wasn't there they would have gotten pie. And then I wonder why my kids don't listen to me! ...But anyway.... It is their house.... I understand that. I just feel like I am really not wanted and no matter what I do it goes unnoticed ... unless it's bad. I don't know. It is their house. And like my mil has told me so many times... She is the mommom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • Work 2 part time jobs - if u cant find a full time job- do u get unemployment- apply for low income housing- maybe get a small apt. until u can afford a bigger place- just get out of there as soon as u can. U r in a situtation where it is MY HOUSE- MY RULES, and u cant do anything except try to find a way to move.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • She may be the mommom, but YOU are the mom to your kids. You may not be able to do anything about the other stuff, but you can make it clear to her that your kids are your kids, and she is not to try to overrule you or to say things to your kids that make you look like the bad guy. And your husband needs to learn to stand up to her and tell her to stop. Good luck, hun!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:07 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • Wow. This question made me so mad at your MIL! The fact is, you have a lot against her, and your dh doesn't see it. She and her family caused you and your family to lose everything because they were too self-centered to see it....then she whines that you're not doing everything you need to do! Not to mention, she's overriding your mommy-ness. If I were in your shoes, I'd sit her down and very calmly explain to her that you understand she's been a mommy and has her ways, but you have your ways and they need to be respected whether she agrees or not. You might also remind her of your sacrifice for her, and the fact that if it wasn't for her, she wouldn't have to worry about you being in her home.
    munchkin1007

    Answer by munchkin1007 at 11:53 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • no matter how much it seems unfair that they did not act they way they are expecting you to, the bottom line is they are helping. should have happened beforehand, but better late than never - sit down with all the adults and discuss the expectations so everyone doesn't seem to feel like they are being wronged.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:21 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • i live with my parents and i know how hard it can be, i definitely wouldn't want to live with my inlaws!!! my fiance has a hard time dealing with my family issues and most of the time i understand, but all i can say is, what do you want me to do? it's their house and we would be on the streets if not for them, if you hate it so much, get a better job and get us in our own place!
    deanamfinley

    Answer by deanamfinley at 4:11 PM on May. 29, 2009

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