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A question for my Christian sisters....

What do you do if you disagree with something your pastor teaches??

My friend is in our church's premarriage classes, and our pastor & the elders told her and her fiancee that birth control causes abortions and they should use only the "rhythm method". They also said that the Bible says that a woman should submit sexually to her husband even if she doesn't want to. I think that verse was taken out of context.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on May. 29, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I think that is horrible they could be scaring her! But I think that their intentions are in the right place. If her fiance knows about the rape, I am sure this is something that he would never exploit from her! If he ever does then he is not right for her! As far as birth control goes...I think that we have a personal relationship with God and this is one of those areas where they pray about it and do what is good and right with God....not the elders of the church. They will have to answer for how they handle situations and your friend can only pray and ask God to show her what to do! Be encouraging to her, and pray for her so that she knows what is right.

    As far as giving them a piece of your mind...we are to hold one another accountable, but I think our heart needs to be in the right place! You do not need to approach out of anger! Take some time to try and understand where they are coming from and pray about it and see

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 12:29 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I guess you have to either accept that everyone has a different view, or try to find a church that views things differently than the church you are at.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • I believe that pastors were ordained by God to guide us spiritually, and emotionally if needed. Does the pastor have any Biblical evidence to support his opinion? Ultimately, this friend and her husband need to consult God and ask what He tells them to do, because the pastor isn't God. My grandparent's old pastor, in their old church, was actually new to pastoring the church. He started out pretty well, they tell me, but as people began coming to him with their problems, he started using those situations in his sermons, even going so far as to use their names and humiliate them on a weekly basis. The church didn't take long to die, and my grandparents left the church. I'm not saying that what this pastor is saying should be the cause of your friend leaving that church, but maybe the pastor should be confronted. Pastor or not, he's human too, and everyone has the right to discover what inspires his thoughts and teachings.

    Answer by munchkin1007 at 11:43 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • First off the old fashioned rhythm method only works if you can set your calender by your cycles. NFP is the way to go. Second yes they took the other out of context. Wife should summit to husband and vice versa. Then Paul goes on to say that's it's best for married couples to take a break, but if the urge is too strong then they should summit to each other.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 11:43 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • If that were my friend I would tell her to do what she thinks is right for her and her new husband. That pastor doesn't have to support her family. And if they are not ready for children then they need to take more precautions than the rhythm method. I do not let my pastor or my congregation decide anything for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • Ephesians 5:22-25
    Eph. 5:28-31 and 33

    These will tell you the role of husband and wife. it's pretty much saying that the wife is to be submissive to her husband because he is her head, in turn Jesus is her husbands head so he is to act accordingly. It also says that he has to love his wife as himself and listen to her. I didnt see anything about giving it up if she doesnt want to. Your friend should ask the priest for specific scriptures.
    I dont know what religion you're in but I used to be catholic and left their church for many reasons them taking scriptures out of context is one of the major ones.
    Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • OP here--The "submission thing" is hard for her, because she was raped in college. When she confided that to the elders, they told her that maybe she isn't ready for marriage. It's all I can do not to charge over there and give them a piece of my mind!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • If her Fiance knows this and is also Christian then He should be patience, gentle and loving. This is something the two of them together need to deal with. Maybe with outside consuling. Before marriage.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 11:59 AM on May. 29, 2009

  • how God would like you to handle the situation! You could end up causing more harm than good, or if you are patient and wait on God he may be able to use you to show them that they need to be more sensitive to someone who reveals a scary part of their past.

    Good Luck and be praying for peace and guidance!

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 12:31 PM on May. 29, 2009

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