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Potty Training and How to Punish- Need input PLEASE!!!!

Hello cafemom.com moms. I am having a debate with co-worker and need your input. I brought my 2 1/2 almost 3 year old to work yesterday just to say hi and let the girls I work with say hi. As I was talking to someone my daughter got into my chair and peed her pants and it went all over the floor and down her leg. I asked her why she did it and that cause was not an answer and she needs to tell me when she has to go like she does at home. One woman I work with says that was not what I should have done that I should have just said "its ok" and understand she is only 3. I said she will never learn. Please give me some feedback on this girls. Thanks!

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QTMamma01

Asked by QTMamma01 at 1:57 PM on May. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • You're not supposed to punish them because it discourages them and associates going on the potty as being negative. It's all in the "tone" of how you say it. No, I don't think you were wrong to say "tell me when you need to go" but if you said it in a scolding way, then you should no thave. She will learn. Do you know any 30 year olds that don't know how to use the toilet? Rewards for going on the potty and making it fun are the best way to encourage them to learn.
    a_and_j_momma

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 2:00 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Well, I will tell you that YOU Are her mom - and you should tell her to shove it....loll but I would have done the same thing I would think - I mean if you tell a child you are potty training its ok to pee in chairs, what's the incentive to go to the potty?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:01 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • i think what you did was fine...

    when my ds<3> pees his pants or poops them i ask him why he didnt tell mommy, and i make him help clean it up.....
    2cuteboysrmine

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 2:01 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • I say you were right in telling her she needs to let you know, esp if she lets you know when your at home. But if she was in a new environment with alot going on she probably got over whelmed and forgot!! But asking her why she did it...thats a rough one. most children that age cant find Cause behind their actions or explain them, theyre not at that stage in development. Other wise i say your fine in how you handled it. YOu didnt freak out on her!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 2:01 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Well, children are very ipulsive. she probably doesnt know why she did it. in ECE classes they teach us to never ask a child why. ...because they dont know.
    But other then that, i think you did just fine. I would've scolded my son if he did something like that. He KNOWS he's supposed to go in the toilet. Yes, they are young children, but that doesnt mean that they dont know what is expected of them.
    I think your co-worker needs to mind her own business too.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:03 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • Also, remember that when you're out in public with all the distractions they don't always remember. To be safe as soon as you get to your destination then have them try to go potty. Also, before you get in the car have her go as well. Good luck!
    a_and_j_momma

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 2:06 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • u cant just let em think its ok 2 go n e where they sit.....its good u told her 2 tell u so u could go 2 a bathroom
    doodlemoore812

    Answer by doodlemoore812 at 2:07 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • she is young. no kids go without accidents,e specially in a new environment like that.

    she did not do anything wrong. all you s hould of done is calmly said lets go to the potty and get you cleaned up. you do not punish kids for potty problems. your co worker is right
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 2:17 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • if you said that calmly....thats fine

    but if you said it harshly like she was in trouble. no
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 2:17 PM on May. 29, 2009

  • As long as you were nice about it, it's fine.
    But remember that she was in a new place, filled with new things to look at and do. When kids are in a situation like that, they frequently forget to listen to their body's signals. Just ask any preschool teacher, kindergarten teacher, or even first grade teacher. This is common as late as 6 years old. YOUR job as a parent is to remember that if she is someplace new, she may forget to pay attention. You need to keep track of when she last went and give her the chance to go before it's too late. That's why lots of preschools have scheduled bathroom breaks instead of relying on the kids to remember to go on their own.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:31 PM on May. 29, 2009

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